The Pallbearer

Bomb Rating: 

Somebody wants to think of Tom Thompson (David Schwimmer) as a sympathetic, albeit directionless, Generation X'er. He lives with his mother (Carol Kane), he can't find a job and when some woman he doesn't know calls him to be a pallbearer for her son (whom he's never heard of), Tom Thompson goes because he's got nothing better to do. Do you identify with Tom Thompson? Then you too are a L-O-S-E-R.

Here's my suggestion for a vow all people between the ages of 24 and 35 on the planet can make to the all the rest of the people on the planet. Say it aloud:

"I, (state your name), agree that the next time I, (state your name), get an idea for making a movie or writing a book or singing a song about Generation X which describes people sitting around and doing nothing more than talking to each other about how hard it is to find a good job or a good mate, I, (state your name), will, voluntarily and without reservation, slit my own throat and laugh uncontrollably as the blood flows from my body."

If director Matt Reeves had taken this vow, imagine the time he would have saved everybody. Unfortunately, he not only got the idea, but carried it out and hired the quintessential Generation X dork- o'-the-month to be his poster boy. Then we're supposed to believe Gwyneth Paltrow would fall for him. The dork and the waif. Now there's a title.

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