Pieces of April

Bomb Rating: 

This is why I don't celebrate the holidays. If you just skip them or celebrate them on non-traditional days, you can avoid a lot of problems.

It seems odd to me that nobody has ever decided to do an entire movie about jock itch. After all, it's a fairly serious problem. It affects a lot of people. I ask this question only after seeing "Pieces of April," the thousandth or so film I've had to sit through about some dysfunctional family. I know everything there is to know about dysfunctional families and seeing yet another film about a dysfunctional family seems far less exciting to me than watching a film about some guy scratching his crotch because he has poor hygiene.

In this dysfunctional family film, April (Katie Holmes) is the black sheep of the family. She lives in New York with her boyfriend (Derek Luke) and has invited the family over for Thanksgiving dinner. The family isn't a happy one. Mother Joy (Patricia Clarkson) is dying of cancer and husband Jim (Oliver Platt) and the other kids (John Gallagher Jr., Alison Pill) are trying to cope. Visiting April is apparently a last ditch effort to make things right, but it seems to be going nowhere.

From the get-go it's chaos. Joy doesn't want to deal with another disappointment from here daughter. Meanwhile, April's oven goes out and she has to run all over her apartment building looking for somebody with a working oven.

This is why I don't celebrate the holidays. If you just skip them or celebrate them on non-traditional days, you can avoid a lot of problems. Celebrate Thanksgiving two days after the actual holiday and everybody has a free oven. Celebrate Christmas on December 27 and you get the benefit of lots of sales and you save a fortune.

One can bet that everything sort of comes together at the end, otherwise this would be a film demeaning family and the holidays and doing that in America these days is likely to get one stoned to death.

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