"The Queen" deals with how Queen Elizabeth II (Helen Mirren) handled the death of Princess Diana and how Tony Blair (Michael Sheen) helped her realize that she needed to change with the times.

I spent most of the film trying to figure out how in the fuck royal succession works. I must just be completely confused. According to the film, Prince William will be the next King of England. Why wouldn't Prince Charles (Alex Jennings) be the next King? Or maybe he will and I just didn't understand.

Then what's up with the Queen Mother (Sylvia Syms)? Why isn't she Queen instead of Elizabeth? If Elizabeth is of royal lineage, isn't the Queen Mother? Was she too old and frail? And what's up with Prince Philip (James Cromwell)? Aside from the fact that he's just a complete pompous ass and nobody would want him to be King anyway, is he Prince merely by the fact that he married Elizabeth?

I think all this royal succession bullshit is precisely why the royals couldn't figure out how to deal properly with Diana's death. Shit, they have to keep all this succession stuff straight. That takes all their brainpower.

Not understanding the whole royal thing in the first place, I wasn't particularly sympathetic to the fact that the Queen didn't realize that perhaps Diana's death meant more to her people than she realized. Watch the damn tv, woman! She tries to be insistent that keeping a stiff, upper lip is the way to go while flowers pile up outside Buckingham palace and Blair keeps calling her and politely trying to drop hints about what she should do.

There is nothing more exciting than watching the British Prime Minister trying to dance around a straight answer that he doesn't offend his Queen. I just sat there waiting for him to say something like "Look you old bag, the people are really hurting. Get outside and do something!"

It never happens. Screw the British.