The Rage: Carrie 2

Bomb Rating: 

It'd be one thing if this film had gotten Sissy Spacek to do a cameo ofsome sort, but to put Amy Irving on display as your proud link to the original film is like doing a "Charlie's Angels" remake just to feature Kate Jackson.

Irving is Sue Snell, a high school guidance counselor who begins to suspect there's something wrong with Rachel (Emily Bergl) after Rachel inexplicably blows up one of those snow globes with the power of her mind. You know, marijuana is to drug addiction what exploding snow globes are to apocalyptic ESP -- it's the gateway to more powerful, insidious mental powers. Naturally, Sue sees this coming a mile away. She has flashbacks to the original "Carrie," which remind us that fire is dangerous and that Amy Irving was once young enough to not need a clot of skin knotted underneath the back of her head to keep her face from drooping into her cleavage.

You're supposed to know that Rachel has The Power because when people try to touch her, they get a little electric shock. Great, so now I know all my acrylic sweaters are telekinetic. Perhaps these rocket scientists might have considered replacing the carpet or putting up anti-static strips before remanding the poor girl into therapy. However, Rachel starts playing normal when a jock (Jason London) falls in love with her.

Rachel spends the entire finale of "The Rage" throwing a fit, and virtually every object in the house, after she realizes the high schoolers have tricked her. Why is it the ESP kids are always the ones with the tempers? She proceeds to kill everybody in sight with flying kitsch. Nonetheless, the jock runs in and declares his love, even though all his friends have just been slaughtered because Rachel got her feelings hurt. Then a wall falls on Rachel and crushes her, and I'm thinking: Where's the power of your mind now, missy? I mean, she produces a whirling knickknack Hurricane of Death and she can't get one measly little wall off of her? My cat has more mind power.

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