Rumble in the Bronx

Bomb Rating: 

Americans take great joy in watching people of other nationalities beat the crap out of each other.

Ah, New York City: the motorcycle gangs, the crime, the shootings. Ah, New York City: the mountains, the water-skiing, the street-bound hovercrafts? Nothing like a little geography mix-up to give your film that sense of authenticity. It's one thing for the filmmakers and director Stanley Tong to cut to an spliced shot of the Big Apple to keep us thinking that their latest Jackie Chan movie is actually taking place in New York. It's quite another to have Jackie and the bad guys running around on a pier with mountains visible in the background. I guess "Rumble in Vancouver" didn't quite have the right ring to it.

"Jackie! Those mounties took my beaver pelts and cursed at me in french. Get them!" Since Jackie was in Vancouver in the first place, why not have him beat up Canadians? He would have garnered a much bigger box-office take since Americans take great joy in watching people of other nationalities beat the crap out of each other. Jackie could have destroyed socialized health care while he was at it and elicited enthusiastic cheers from millions of Americans, who, as a general rule, resent any country where poor people actually have access to health care.

To spread the word about this Rumble in the Bronx review on Twitter.

To get instant updates of Mr. Cranky reviews, subscribe to our RSS feed.
0 Comments

Like This Rumble in the Bronx Review? Vote it Up.

0

Rate This Movie:

Other Cranky Content You Might Enjoy

  • While I'm positive Jackie Chan could beat the crap out of Pierce Brosnan, that doesn't make him James Bond.

  • I think it's about time we hold the Chinese to a standard similar to our own and stop judging their movies by the "funny foreign people just have a different way about them" barometer.

  • This film really breaks new ground in Jackie Chan movies by giving Chan's character a name other than "Jackie." I suppose this required some extra preparation on Chan's part, but it was certainly a ni