Rumor Has It

Bomb Rating: 

Holy crap, this film has a whole bunch of people involved in it that I'm sick of. Let's start with director Rob Reiner.

Shouldn't Rob Reiner be asking himself if he's ever going to make a decent movie again? You know, a movie that didn't make me want to split my skull apart on the floor and toss my brains about the room. I'll make a list and you tell me when to stop: "Rumor Has It," "Alex & Emma," "The Story of Us," "Ghosts of Mississippi," "The American President," "North"… are we there yet? We've traveled back in time 11 years and I don't hear you. Rob: retire.

Then there's Jennifer Aniston. First of all, she's too nice to be real and she keeps unloading that whole Rachel persona on us in every movie she's in. She can't act and if she didn't have that hair she'd be screwed. Being neurotic is not acting if that's how you are all the time.

Then there's Mark Ruffalo. There's one scene in this movie, toward the end, when Sarah Huttinger (Aniston) returns to her fiancé, Jeff (Ruffalo), and you'd swear Ruffalo was five foot two and weighed about 100 pounds. He looks so weak and pathetic you'd suspect Kevin Costner could pick Ruffalo up and wipe his ass with him. Anyway, I'm sick of Ruffalo trying to be this mainstream leading man. It's not happening.

I'm not high on Shirley MacLaine or Kevin Costner either, but I'll let it go.

This movie has Sarah questioning if her father (Richard Jenkins) is really her father when she pieces together a rumor that her family was the inspiration for "The Graduate," with her grandmother (MacLaine) as Mrs. Robinson and Beau Burroughs (Costner) as the Dustin Hoffman character. Burroughs eventually beds Sarah's mother as well. Make sense? Do you care?

To demonstrate Reiner's inability to determine what's relevant to a story, he spends far too much time with Sarah's younger sister (Mena Suvari), who's getting married. Suvari jumps around like a twelve-year-old on crack, all for the purpose of demonstrating that she and Sarah are so very different. This launches Sarah on her crusade of self-discovery, which incidentally, involves her cheating on her devoted fiancé. This cheating, of course, is written off as a simple mistake, which only requires a heartfelt apology from Sarah to make it all better.

"Rumor Has It" is a rather dull journey that doesn't amount to much no matter how much the filmmakers seem to be tickled by the premise.

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