Scorpius Gigantus

Bomb Rating: 

What really pisses me off is that the film features a tough-as-nails female solider named Dokic (Evgenia Vasileva) who is not naked.

This straight-to-DVD Roger Corman produced film is some kind of hybrid movie.Most of it is shot on digital video, so it kind of looks like it was made in somebody's backyard. Some of the various helicopter shots are on film. Then there are the special effects, which are quite obviously done on somebody's home computer.

These Roger Corman DVDs are notable for the cover phrasing: "In the tradition of…" In this case, "Scorpius Gigantus" is "In the tradition of Starship Troopers," which means that it involves military types shooting special effects bugs and that pretty much covers the entire story.

The plot follows a team of elite military soldiers who are dispatched to capture a genetically engineered bug that's gotten loose inside some facility. I really don't need to go into it anymore than that. I spent most of the film trying to figure out where in the hell I'd seen the guy who plays Major Nick Reynolds (Jeff Fahey) before. After I went to IMDB I discovered that Jeff was formerly "The Lawnmower Man" thus answering the question: "Where do shitty actors in shitty Stephen King adaptations end up?"

What really pisses me off is that the film features a tough-as-nails female solider named Dokic (Evgenia Vasileva) who is not naked. I mean, what the hell? Here's a rated R, straight-to-video feature with an unknown woman playing a pivotal role who does not disrobe. Furthermore, she is rather wee in the chest area. I mean, if you're going to have a movie called "Scorpius Gigantus" and a woman who should be taking her clothes off, might as well give her breastus gigantus, no?

What's the point of R-rated straight-to-video features if there's not at least some wank factor?

To spread the word about this Scorpius Gigantus review on Twitter.

To get instant updates of Mr. Cranky reviews, subscribe to our RSS feed.
0 Comments

Like This Scorpius Gigantus Review? Vote it Up.

0

Rate This Movie:

Other Cranky Content You Might Enjoy

  • This is the first film directed by Ron ("The Da Vinci Code") Howard. The DVD is part of the "Roger Corman Collection." It includes a few extras and a typical introduction by Corman, which is lame.

  • It's no longer really even a question of seeing these films and evaluating them on any subjective level.

  • Apparently, Morgan Freeman is about the only person still willing to work with Ashley Judd, though rumor has it that Ashley is responsible for the vast majority of gray hairs on Freeman's head.