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With "Seabiscuit", the terrifying vision of Dreamworks is made plain. Spielberg and Lucas have been developing a technology in which movies can directly stimulate emotions without the need for compelling characters, suspense or any kind of recognizable human behavior. The only downside to this technology is that it requires the viewer to be as dumb as a brick, but since these so- called "movies" lower the viewer's IQ, this problem should go away with the next generation of "movie"-goers.
In the world of "Seabiscuit", this is how humans behave. South-of-the-border prostitutes not only speak English without the faintest trace of an accent (in fact, apparently Mexico is devoid of Mexicans), but they act like blushing virgins on their wedding nights. "Do you want to...um, get started?" Ouch, ouch ouch! - that had me nearly rolling my eyes clear out their sockets. A rich guy (who's apparently populist because he only has two chins instead of the evil three-chinned plutocrat) can evoke cries of "that's right!" from a crowd by speechifying about his racehorse, who's apparently Jesus on four legs.
The world of "Seabiscuit" makes Pleasantville look like Compton.
Just in case there might have been anything left to the imagination - which encourages the use of the brain, a no- no according to the Dreamworks model - a voice-over tells us what to think about what we've seen.
There's an insidious social message in this movie as well. No matter how poor you are, no matter how desparate your situation, you can always raise yourself out of your wretchedness by pretending you have something in common with a millionare. God bless America!
I could go on and on. Okay, I will. What is wrong with people who liked this movie? Are they pod people? Seriously, I want to know. If you know someone who liked this movie, I'd watch them closely. You might even want to try to get a blood sample. Whatever you do, don't turn your back on them. Or let them decide what movie to see next.
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