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"...from "The Dukes Of Hazzard"; now I'm out here, all alone in the wilderness. The fame, the drugs, the women, the booze, and the money all ran out. Now, I wake in the morning, brush off the layer of leaves and humus that clings to my no-longer-supple body, drink water from a tiny hidden spring, eat some fly agaric mushrooms, hide from the bears, and watch the lavender and chartreuse pixies rape the chipmunks.
My life sucks weasel-pizzle.
Remember, whiners always lose, and quitters never win!"
"Help me...!"
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