Sense and Sensibility

Bomb Rating: 

I'm rather proud to say that both Emma Thompson and Kate Winslet, who play Elinor and Marianne in this movie, have had the pleasure of meeting me. Emma made me take some cookies home. Right before I had a talk with Kate Winslet, she yelled out the following in reference to a story she'd heard: "THOSE FUCKING BASTARDS!"

Since both of them expressed such a thrill at meeting me, I'd have to say I'm a bit more sympathetic to their picture than most. Nevertheless, this a typically British film in the sense that it's about a bunch of tight-assed English people. Marianne is the emotional one and as such is an embarrassment to her family. Elinor, on the other hand, is so uptight that if you hit her in the back of the head with a crowbar she would probably turn around and say, "pardon me, sir." Hugh Grant plays the consummate cinematic Englishman in that he can't express any feeling either and walks around like he's got a couple of gerbils playing hopscotch in his rear end and he's trying to make sure nobody knows.

Both Marianne and Elinor are looking for good men and having all kinds of problems. First of all, they've gone from rich to merely bourgeois, which, let me tell you, just breaks my heart. In a world of starving Ethiopians, we're supposed to feel for a couple of hearty English babes because they're having man trouble. Right.

The end of this film made me cry, which is something you'll probably never hear me admit again. After all, realizing you've just wasted two-and-a-half hours in a theater waiting for these English twits to express an iota of human feeling would turn any man into a blithering little baby.

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