1. Have you ever felt that you were in love?
Oh about three or four lumps, er, I mean times.
2. Do you masturbate when separated from your special someone and do you picture that special someone or what?
Say what? I can only think of Eliza Dushku right now. Me obsessive compulsive? Bah!
3. Is there such thing as true love or is it a movie construct?
Depends upon how you define true and what you mean by "is" (thank you Mr. Clinton). I'm just looking for a meal ticket and deviant sex. That's true love enough fo' sho'.
4. Are you attracted to someone because of how they look or their personality or a combo or something else (like nice feet)?
What am I superficially challenged? I'll have you all know that I've dated chicks due to their mighty mental capacity to grasp the struggles of worker bees of both the European and African variety. I tend to gravitate towards lookers, but I will go for chicks that aren't bad to look and can speak in complete sentences when the opportunity presents itself.
5. How much trouble are you willing to go to get to that one person you have to have?
I'm willing to walk half a block and bring a present of cold pizza to win the affections of that special someone. Yes I know I am quite the Romeo.
6. Have you ever become a stalker and the subject of unrequited love?
Never been a stalker. Too much trouble and spying takes up too much time. I prefer to make crank calls and breathe heavy and make slurping sounds and go "oh yeah baby, that's good, sooooo good." I've had a few unrequited love deals. One of 'em was a friend and I hated to break it to her that I just didn't see her that way. What did I do? I did the mature thing and moved to another state of course.
7. Do you go for public affection or do you puke when you see it or what?
Personally I don't care what people do. They can bone in the middle of a shopping mall and I might look if there's excess nudity.
8. Is Kate Beckinsale really as hot as she's cracked up to be? For the ladies you can judge John Kusack.
Me likes Kate. Yah, yah, yah. Okay, me likes most chicks that are thinner than the average football fan. "I curse you! Thinner!"
9. Do you fall "in-love" more easily during certain conditions? You know like if you're inebriated or on the rebound?
I tend to get over it right after, but yeah I suppose. The rebound thing always does that to me. I dunno why. One minute I'm good to go (or so I think) and then I'm attempting to hook up with a girl that resembles my previous love interest. "Now I want you to wear tight daisy duke jeans just like, like... Oh never mind! Just let me wallow in my own crapulence!" Is that even a word?
10. Are these questions too personal and what the fuck are you gonna do about it (aside from not answering the questions like a rotten little kid)?
Sure they're personal. Why else would I axe 'em?
------------------------------------------------------------ --------------------
Post a response to this discussion thread