Serving Sara

Bomb Rating: 

NOBODY WANTS TO WATCH MATTHEW PERRY ON THE BIG SCREEN.

While working on this movie, Matthew Perry checked himself into rehab for a drinking problem. Is there a kind of rehab where you can go for an acting problem? I think he's mistaken about what kinds of problems he has, because he's all but cemented a future of roles as the sidekick's sidekick. You know what I'm talking about: Like in "When Harry Met Sally," where Billy Crystal had Bruno Kirby as his best buddy. Well then Bruno could have his own buddy, like Matthew Perry, except those scenes would be cut out because NOBODY WANTS TO WATCH MATTHEW PERRY ON THE BIG SCREEN.

As process server Joe Tyler, Perry's shining moment features him sticking his hand up the ass of a bull. It's a really funny scene, except that I already saw it on MTV's "Jackass." How hard up do you have to be as a filmmaker or screenwriter to steal from "Jackass"? Why couldn't Perry break new ground by jumping in a pool of elephant feces or something? Maybe if somebody stuck an arm up Matthew Perry's ass, he'd pick better movies to be in.

So Tyler serves a subpoena to Sara Moore (Elizabeth Hurley), but Sara convinces him to help her serve papers to her husband (Bruce Campbell), which is supposed to give her the upper hand in any divorce proceedings. She agrees to give Joe a million dollars in return. Hot on their trail is Joe's co-worker, Tony (Vincent Pastore). Joe tricks Tony into traveling from New York to Miami and then to Maine. Director Reginald Hudlin is so colossally incompetent that he seems to think that it can be summer in New York and summer in Miami and somehow be winter in Maine.

I have no idea why I was supposed to care one iota about anybody in this film. Everybody is pretty much a sleazebag, though the women definitely get the short end of the stick. Sara is little more than a gold digger who married her husband for the cash. When he decides to dump her and take on a younger, blonder wife, we're apparently supposed to feel sorry for her. The second Joe does something wrong, Sara sends him packing. When he makes up for it, suddenly they're in love. Ironically, when the two of them fell in love, I fell in love too -- with the idea that this movie was destined to end at any minute.

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