08/25/1998: I Feel For You, Discord.

Posted By: liquid-sunshine


I guess I should be flattered that you went to the trouble of poking through all the Cranky forums just to read my previous articles that were meant for other imbeciles. You wouldn't have been able to tick off a laundry list of my themes, unless you read my prior postings. I should be flattered, but I'm just sad. You could have been doing much more important things with your spare time. Like cleaning the moss off your teeth, or developing a personal hygiene routine so you wouldn't be offensive to others. If you would just clean up, you might be able to get a girl. Then you wouldn't have to choose from so many sexual positions, kneeling, crawling, groveling. I thought about reciprocating by reading some of your previous postings, but my browser doesn't have a URL for the bed-wetters site.

I'm a very intuitive person, and I use those abilities to place myself in the mind of those I write about. I'm sort of like that F.B.I agent in the film "Manhunter," whom thinks like the serial killer in order to divine his pattern. The few minutes I've spent in your head make me wonder how anyone could stand that spook-house for more than 24 hours. It would take a team of psychoanalysts, working around the clock, years to straighten you out. Even Freud would've been hesitant about wrestling with your psyche. I'm sure that in the distant past, something was done to you to turn you into the traumatized mutant you are today.

Maybe your mother breast fed you on falsies. Maybe your father hoped for a son. Maybe those atomic wedgies you suffered during high-school shoved your genitals so far up into your body cavity, that you developed penis envy, I don't know. I do know that only you can refurbish the ruins of your life. I would pray for you, but I'm not a satanist.


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