Shadow Conspiracy

Bomb Rating: 

If you're a member of a deranged small-town militia,sitting in some bomb shelter with all your gun-toting buddies suddenly noticing how attractive that crack in Bobby Lee's ass is starting to look while you're waiting for the U.S. Government to come take everything you own, this film might appeal to you.

Perhaps if you're a member of a deranged small-town militia,sitting in some bomb shelter with all your gun-toting buddies suddenly noticing how attractive that crack in Bobby Lee's ass is starting to look while you're waiting for the U.S. Government to come take everything you own (what exactly does the government need with a twenty-year-old pickup truck and an incomplete set of Craftsman tools anyway?), this film might appeal to you -- it's written with the paranoid in mind.

Charlie Sheen stars (now that's a conspiracy) as Bobby Bishop, a presidential aide who takes one step outside the White House and is instantly on the run from an evil agent (Stephen Lang). This villain looks tough and crafty, but how smart can he be? Lay in wait at the local strip club or whorehouse and picking off Sheen will be easier than getting Michael Jackson to tour a children's hospital.

The premise of the film consists of Bobby running all over D.C. like Marion Barry chasing a fix, hoping he will bump into the information explaining who's behind this awful plot. With him is reporter Amanda Givens (Linda Hamilton). Inside the White House is his mentor, Conrad (Donald Sutherland).

"Shadow Conspiracy" is another one of those films that wants you to believe that, had it not been for our hero, some catastrophe of justice might have gone unnoticed. Fortunately, the conspirators, despite being high government officials, are dumber than lobotomized lab rats. Couldn't they just poison Bobby's White House meal? How hard would it have been to plant a bomb in his car? But no, they have to shoot at him in the middle of a crowded street so he can run off into the darkness and create an excuse to waste two perfectly good hours of our valuable time.

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