Shadow of the Vampire
Mr. Cranky's rating:
I don't think those investors would have stepped up with, say, Corey Haim and Sean Astin in the lead roles.
The premise for this film is that Max Schreck (Willem Dafoe), the freaky-looking dude who played Count Dracula in F.W. Murnau's 1922 film "Nosferatu," was himself, a vampire. I imagine that 80 years from now, someone may do a film imagining E. Elias Merhige was actually a filmmaker. Like this film, it will be entirely a work of the imagination.What do I care whether Schreck was a vampire or not? Or whether or not Murnau (John Malkovich) made some kind of deal with the devil to get a film made? Were there simply not enough decent actors around back then? What's the point of the exercise if that's not it - that directors will sell-out their actors for success? Newsflash E. Elias - this industry is star-driven and always has been. Um, take your little film for instance. Think anybody would have given you the cash without Dafoe and Malkovich? No. I don't think those investors would have stepped up with, say, Corey Haim and Sean Astin in the lead roles.
Perhaps one should suppose that this is a lament on the current state of Hollywood. Is Merhige suggesting that actors are bloodsuckers and directors obsessive fools? Well, all except for Merhige, of course. Or is this all just some experiment in imagination, like they do in preschool when they ask the little kiddies to draw pictures of their perfect day? Naturally, there's always that kid in the back who draws the picture of some beast eating the teacher, and Merhige appears to be that kid. Then again, what kind of imaginative leap is that, really? Logical, I'd say. Now, if Merhige had imagined Schreck to be half Orangutan, that might have been interesting.
Murnau's "Nosferatu" is almost eighty years old now. Aside from the fact that Schreck was almost certainly not a real vampire, who really cares, anyway? Do I care when my grandmother explains to me how in her day taffy cost a penny and gas was twenty-two cents a gallon? No, of course I don't. I say, "Shut up, grandma. The drive to the nursing home is costing me an arm and a leg by your own standards, so shut up and let me endure it in peace. Don't make me push you out of the car." Had E. Elias Merhige been sitting next to me on the theater, he would have found himself on the floor where he belonged.
Interview with E. Elias Merhige
Was it really that bad?
You tell us! Discuss "Shadow of the Vampire" in the Mr. Cranky forum below!
Post a New Message in the "Shadow of the Vampire" forum
Messages:
yo son! administrator
I have Returned. (Disembodied_Brain)
totally off topic, but (bad_verse)
Balanced reporting (J_Smithers_Esq)
Christiane Amanpour is Iranian. (MAYORBOB)
Hey Sphincter Boy (convenor)
A "non-Jew Network". (Wulfgar)
You guys all suck. (skilly)
No Such Thing As Balanced Reporting Because Reporters Are People (Dan_in_Cincinnati)
Hang on, according to the conservatives...... (Throwing_Muses)
Dan your wrong (llamasex)
Skilly, the difference is... (MAYORBOB)
Dan... (Ringo_ate_my_baby)
It's "Kosovo", Dan... (Bureaucrat)
The Kosovar Albanians... (Wulfgar)
Smithers: (Morrison_Hotel)
MAYORBOB (J_Smithers_Esq)
Stalker-Boy cries out for attention (J_Smithers_Esq)
Dan_in_Cincinnati (J_Smithers_Esq)
Smithers, as a fellow "goose-stepping Nazi" (Omega_Man)
Re: Balanced reporting (something that Slithers is unacquainted with) (Wulfgar)
Nope, "big fat Jewfest" STILL looks as racist as it first did (convenor)
why don't ~you~ leave, ya whiny hypocrite? (Omega_Man)
Look, Osmegma-Man... (Wulfgar)
Wulfgar. (Omega_Man)
Sodomite-Boy (J_Smithers_Esq)
Smithers, you are the dumbest educated man in Crankyland. (MAYORBOB)
Omega-Man (J_Smithers_Esq)
Go on MAYORBOB, tell us another one (J_Smithers_Esq)
MAYORBOB... (Wulfgar)
Slithers You Said In Your Original Post (Dan_in_Cincinnati)
Dan_in_Cincinati (J_Smithers_Esq)
Sodomite-Boy (J_Smithers_Esq)
Dan_In_Cincinati (J_Smithers_Esq)
Smithers... (Wulfgar)
Sodomite-Boy (this activity you may at least be a "pro" at) (J_Smithers_Esq)
Sodomite-Boy -- further point of clarification (J_Smithers_Esq)
Oh what the Hell, since I know it annoys you... (J_Smithers_Esq)
Make that a fourth... (J_Smithers_Esq)
LOL! (Wulfgar)
Sodomite-Boy (J_Smithers_Esq)
One further point... (J_Smithers_Esq)
Wheeeeeee! (J_Smithers_Esq)
Wheeee! wheeeee! (J_Smithers_Esq)
Like Elmer Fudd... "What's up, Doc?" sez I (Wulfgar)
Re: Balanced reporting (whizkid42)
Sodomite-Boy (J_Smithers_Esq)
Enter the Excoriator... (Excoriator)
Re: Balanced reporting deb_pradhan1981
Jello is now the official State Snack of Utah. (MAYORBOB)
Can someone explain why Einstein was made "man of the century"? (J_Smithers_Esq)
SAG nominations... (Parca_Mortem)
"Planet of the Apes" rumored to be hosting first Star Wars II trailer! (Drew_Atreides)
quick opinion poll here... (mendo)
Marilyn Manson to star in Willie Wonker remake (Throwing_Muses)
Joe_Cool, have you gone psycho or something? (Nick-The-Liquid)
X-MAN has been behaving like a sell-out whore recently. (Joe_Cool)
I saw this movie tonight (Nick-The-Knife)
Throwing Muses. (Conqueror)
xyz (X-MAN)
This is a page which should be near and dear to X-Man's heart. (MAYORBOB)
Mel Gibson is a freak... (Ringo_ate_my_baby)
More abuse of the race card (J_Smithers_Esq)
An EMMA faux pas or two… (IrvingPThorneIII)
This is a good post from Neptunian (X-MAN)
BY THE POWER OF PARCA MORTEM!!!! (Pargay_Morgay)
. (Conqueror)
468x60_squaresoft_drivingtype (Parca_Mortem)
Does anyone else think those "GIRLS GONE WILD" commercials go too far? (DivaB)
Fuck you. (Chiz)
Fuck off DivaB bitch ass! (Conqueror)
Girls go wild, sometimes. (NeptuneSalad)
Fuck you... (Parca_Mortem)
DivaB (Morrison_Hotel)
Morrison... (DivaB)
I got a question! How come men don't have their own WHEN GUYS GO WILD? (Conqueror)
It's official: Conqueror is gay... (Parca_Mortem)
As sick as that would seem... (DivaB)
that email is probably bullshit... (Ringo_ate_my_baby)
Well, i've always wanted to video tape myself slapping my balls! (Conqueror)
DivaB. (NeptuneSalad)
Actually, we don't want to see balls. (DivaB)
Actually Ringo, that IS my E-Mail... (DivaB)
From the years of slapping my balls DivaB. (Conqueror)
Conqueror is also able to suck his own cock. Darker_and_Darker_and_ (Darker_Conqueror)
uh, Diva... (Ringo_ate_my_baby)
As long as I get to show my picture that I took today... (DivaB)
Another Dallasite (X-MAN)
Soon DivaB will get an email from mendo asking for a young girly picture. (Conqueror)
Typical liberal response (X-MAN)
Yeah (X-MAN)
Oh shut up, X-MAN. (Pargay_Morgay)
Hmmm... (Morrison_Hotel)
Wow, I own every single one of those videos! (Presley)
Here's a thought. (xyz)
Personally, I don't see the big deal... (Pseudonym)
I do not really.... (whack_chick)
I know that I'm really going out on a limb here... (Ken_Kaminski)
Yes, Fat Girl (Fat_Ed)
Ken... (whack_chick)
Actually, xyz was the one that said that, w_c (Pseudonym)
I'm every man... (Presley)
I'm in the xyz frame of mind. (skilly)
Look at the girls line up to defend porn (X-MAN)
Id' doo a porrno wit Miz Wundrebraa annyday!!!!!!!!!! (ppppppppp!!!!!!) Nekkid seNsators!!! (Retard_in_the_Theater)
From the mouth of idiots- "sex sucks." (miss_enthropic_bitch)
Mardi Gras is the 27th of Feb (Maialyn)
It seems a lot of girls are obseesed with Mardi Gras (X-MAN)
If you guys knew me... (DivaB)
Hate to break it to you... (skilly)
Seems that some posters are obsessed..... (Throwing_Muses)
The irony is... (That_Bitch_From_Admin)
what I love about those ads... (Ringo_ate_my_baby)
Don't stop! (gnosticdogma)
Re: Does anyone else think those (X-MAN)
At least a part of weekend life, Maialyn (Chica)
Chica (Maialyn)
Chica - School in England (Karen_G)
Karen (Chica)
That's the attitude (Karen_G)
Re: Does anyone else think those (bobby)
Re: I love TITS!!!! (bobby)
Re: Does anyone else think those hello
Re: Does anyone else think those sixerfan
Re: Does anyone else think those madgamehaTTer
Just shut up! Trunks
Re: Does anyone else think those Trunks
Re: Does anyone else think those kerrysucksandblows
Historical Innacuracy (Mikurtis)
11 key similiraties between grundle and Parca Mortem... (Parca_Mortem)
What was the point of Cranky's review?... (Parca_Mortem)
Here's why corporate welfare is bad. (grundle)
Neptunian_Galaxy_Master, you have to prove that you are not me. (grundle)
speaking of light-shunning parasites... (Ringo_ate_my_baby)
What a honey... Brittany's Sphere's sure looked good yesterday <nt> scruples@all.tom (mendo)
uh, Cranky...? (Ringo_ate_my_baby)
answering machine messages. I might have to kill myself. (agony)
32 years ago today... (Theodoric)
Hey, that seems like a reasonable way to spend your birthday... (Pseudonym)
Happy birthday, Theo. (Drew_Atreides)
Theo! Happy naked birthday! (Karen_G)
Ewwwwwww! Not even a thong? (TheWreck)
Happy Birthday, young man <nt> (Throwing_Muses)
Dare I say it without killing the thread (Junk_Yard_Dog)
Bon anniversaire (Pat-The-Bunny)
Theo, were you born with a thong on? (MAYORBOB)
Mighty thonged theo.... (miss_enthropic_bitch)
Hap... Hap... Happy B'Day, Theo... (mendo)
YUCK! (Nick-The-Knife)
Happy birthday, by the way (Nick-The-Knife)
Ick... (Wulfgar)
What a coincidence... I was eating some placentas just yesterday... (mendo)
Happy Happy Birthday (Maialyn)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU OLD COOT!!!! (That_Bitch_From_Admin)
Feliz cumpleaños, pervertido de mierda... (Parca_Mortem)
Happy Birthday, Theo! (Homeboy)
Happy birthday, Theo. (Bureaucrat)
Err, yes, Happy Birthday! (Mad-Ness_Monster)
Happy Birthday, Theo! (Violet_Beauregarde)
Not horror, not spoof, not comedy...what is it? (Cosmos)
I was gonna see this movie (dickeye)
Firsties? (Pat-The-Bunny)
If you just posted, hit "reload" on your Web browser to see your comments.
Mr. Cranky's Archives
Mr. Cranky's Home Page
Shopping with Mr. Cranky! Earn us operating funds
with every purchase begun from these links!
Get your "Shadow of the Vampire " stuff here!
We earn 5% on every purchase!
DVD
VHS
Soundtrack
Book
Poster
Start all your online shopping trips from the links below and help us live another day! We earn:
5% on all purchases!
25% on all purchases!
5-10% on all purchases!
$9 for new sign-ups!
Mr. Cranky Gear
Mr. Cranky shirts! Caps! And mugs! All at Mr. Cranky's new Cafe Press store!