Shadows in the Sun

Bomb Rating: 

I don't care who Harvey Keitel sleeps with, there's no way he produces a child that looks like Claire Forlani. No way. Keitel is about 1/3 dog.

If there's actually anybody out there who's already seen this, they might know the movie as "The Shadow Dancer." Personally, I don't really care which of the two titles one might use. The title might as well not be clear since whether or not this is even a movie isn't clear either.

I'm not real fond of watching something I think is going to be a film only to discover that it's clearly a made-for-TV production. Couldn't the DVD company have bothered to at least splice the thing together and leave out the fades to black where the commercial breaks were meant to go? On IMDB, it doesn't specifically say it was on TV, but it's certainly cut that way, suggesting that it was originally a movie, then was recut for TV, and is now being put to service in a last-ditch attempt to earn some level or return for investors as a DVD.

Since nobody has heard of it, the cover helpfully notes that it's "in the tradition of 'Under the Tuscan Sun'" so that people who are desperate to re-experience the schmaltzy, melodramatic crap that was "Under the Tuscan Sun" might accidentally purchase this film.

The story features a literary agent named Jeremy Taylor (Joshua Jackson) traveling to Italy to persuade a reclusive writer, Weldon Parish (Harvey Keitel) to write again. As he tries, Jeremy falls in love with Weldon's daughter (Claire Forlani).

A couple of things: I don't care who Harvey Keitel sleeps with, there's no way he produces a child that looks like Claire Forlani. No way. Keitel is about 1/3 dog. And even the threat of having to see Keitel's naked body is just way too traumatic. Anybody who's seen "The Bad Lieutenant" knows this and you can tell who those people are when Parish is about to go skinny dipping because they either get that glazed, war survivor look about them or they scream like somebody just stuck a fork up their ass.

If you miss the DVD, don't worry: This movie will undoubtedly be repurposed as a CD-ROM, 99-cent VHS tape, or View-Master disk before the year is out.

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