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A look into the private conversations of two guys. The following has been edited for time and content.
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Gdog: The success of every new medium hinges on its ability to transmit pornography. Except for radio and TV, I guess.
Discord: Especially radio and TV. Check out morning talk shows on the radio or beer commercials. Speaking of twat, I was downloading these sweet mpegs the other day, but they only last like one second and there’s a series of nine or ten that I think are supposed to be connected, but I don’t know how. Do you?
Gdog: Nope. Not a clue. That’s why nobody reads books anymore. Not enough porn.
Discord: Damn. It’s nearly impossible to jerk off to a one second video. You have to let go too often to re-click the play button.
Gdog: I stick to stationary pictures myself. I’m animated enough for both of us.
Discord: You clearly haven’t read "Portnoy’s Complaint." That’s the book I recommend to everyone who tells me that reading is boring. After that overly pornographic novel, they’ll be reading books again, let me assure you.
Gdog: I get around to it eventually.
Discord: That’s the truth. My problem is that I spend most of my time stroking to a slowly loading picture and once it appears I click on a new one and wait for another picture to appear.
Gdog: I try to guess what it’s going to be a picture of before it’s fully loaded.
Discord: Me too, I think I’m jerking of to anticipation. Rarely is the actual picture as good as I imagine.
Gdog: The payoff is rarely worth the anticipation. That’s how gambling works.
Discord: I’ve been gambling too much, if you hear me talking.
Gdog: Yeah. My first class starts in forty minutes, but I never go anyway.
Discord: Me either.
Gdog: That’s philosophy for ya. I’ll probably go to Villiage Inn or something soon.
Discord: For pancakes or the service?
Gdog: One of their scrambled up plates of shit.
Discord: Sounds delish! Give Marge a slap on the ass for me and give Betty a kiss on the puss, too.
Gdog: I just crashed Netscape. That must be my cue to go. I’ll send you a dirty limerick or something later.
Discord: Okay, bye. "I see my wife growing old just like myself, and I feel depressed," he says. "I think the magic really started to out of the relationship when she began menstruating."
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