She's So Lovely

Bomb Rating: 

The credits of this abomination of filmmaking indicate that Cassavetes Sr. wrote it. I don't believe it. Not even a dead guy could produce a script this bad.

Director Nick Cassavetes, son of the late legendary independent filmmaker, John Cassavetes, must have been adopted. Either that or his mother, Gena Rowlands, had an affair with a mongoloid plumber because whatever genes Nick received from dad might have been put to better use cleaning sewers or giving enemas to zoo animals.

But perhaps this is unfair. The credits of this abomination of filmmaking indicate that Cassavetes Sr. wrote it. I don't believe it. Not even a dead guy could produce a script this bad. It details a completely unbelievable relationship between two people we could care less about: Eddie (Sean Penn) and Maureen (Robin Wright Penn). Eddie floats in and out of insanity while Maureen is consistently an idiot woman. Are we really supposed to care one iota for them? This film could have ended with everybody getting slaughtered by seal-beating, child-abusing Jehovah's witnesses and I would have been hard-pressed to experience any level of emotion.

Am I supposed to believe Eddie and Maureen have some kind of special love? I'm more likely to believe that Sean Penn expels waste with the aroma of daisies. Cassavetes works in vain to establish this "special love" as Eddie shoots somebody and the film abruptly jumps ten years to Eddie's release from the nut house. Maureen has a new life, a wealthy husband (John Travolta) and three kids. Nevertheless, Cassavetes wants us to believe Maureen is still crazy for her clinically insane, neglectful, murderous first husband.

As I experienced the pain of "She's So Lovely," the only alternative to peeling the protective film off my eyeballs was to cheer loudly for the main characters to die. It didn't really matter where they were -- Maureen could be cleaning the kitchen -- I just felt it was cathartic to scream out "run under a bus!" or "step on a land mine!" at the top of my lungs. That the other members of the audience didn't even turn around is the greatest measure of this film's depravity.

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