09/13/07: Oh, survey can you see....

1. How old will you be in 13 months?

Trick question! The answer is 1 year and 1 month!

2. Do you think you'll be married by then?

Trick question! As in I have popped the question to my trick.

3. What do you look forward to most in the next 3 months?

The next 3 months after that!

4. Who was the last person to call you?

People are done calling me? That's upsetting.

5. Who was the last person to text you?

People are also done texting me? Wow. Did I piss someone off?

6. Do you prefer to call or text?

I prefer smoke signals, but those park rangers and firefighters keep harassing me.

7. Do you have any pets?

www.petgirls.com (not safe for work or anywhere)

Hey, a sicko can dream!

8. What were you doing at 12 am last night ?

Aren't we Little Miss Nosey!

9. Do you like carrots?

14 karats are the best.

10. When is the last time you saw your mom?

Why would I saw my mom? That's evil, unless I was magician, and then I wouldn't want my mom as my assitant.

12. How many houses have you lived in?

Have I every truly lived?

13. How many city/towns have you lived in?

See above.

14. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet:

Shoes on me, bare feet on women.

15. Are you a social person?

You calling me a commie?

16.What was the last thing you ate?

Now I don't get to eat anymore, either? Damn.

17. What is your favorite color?

Burnt charcoal green.

18. What are you doing for your next birthday?

Trading in my old birthday suit for a new one.

19. What is your favorite TV show?

I haven't been to a transvestite performance in many years.

20. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J

Jelly doesn't go with paperbacks and joules.

21. Do you like coffee?

No, I prefer sugar and cream in hot water and drink that.

24. What are you listening to?

Someone typing at a keyboard.

25. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?

Yes, the top side.

26. Do you know how to play poker?

Sure, but finding a woman who wants to be poked isn't easy.

27. What are you thinking about right now?

Poker, mon!

28. Any plans for this weekend?

There's no need. I imagine it's all planned in advance like most weekends: 2 days, 24 hours each.

33. Have you ever been in an ambulance?

Let's not get too kinky.

34. Do you prefer an ocean or pool?

I wanted an ocean, but they said it wouldn't fit in my backyard.

36. Do you know how to drive a stick shift?

Enough with the euphamisms. I don't swing that way.

37. What is your favorite thing to spend money on?

Myself.

38. Do you wear any jewelry 24/7?

Does ring-around-the-collar count?

39. Do you speak any other language?

I actually don't speak any.

41. Who is the funniest person you know?

Chuckles McHawhaw

42. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

Hey, I'm not that perverted!

44. What is the main ring tone on your phone?

"Deutschland Uber Alles"

46. What is the color of your bedroom walls?

Under all that dirt...no idea.

47. Do you shut off the water while you brush your teeth?

Brush what?

48. Do you wish someone was with you right now?

Who says they aren't?

49. Do you miss someone?

Yes, but my aim is improving.

50. Do you talk to the person who posted this before?

No, because last phone call was already used up.

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