I spent the entirety of "Shrek the Third" trying to figure out whether the ogre was voiced by Mike Myers or whether he had been replaced by Maurice LaMarche or one of those other voice actors who can fake us out. However, when the final credits rolled, I discovered that it was, in fact, Mike Myers. I guess this became a question because Myers has shifted from projecting his voice with enthusiasm to projecting his voice as though the question "will I be doing this for the rest of my life?" was roiling through his head like an aggressive cancer. Incidentally, the answer to that question appears to be yes as "Shrek 4" is slated for a 2010 release.

The only thing more tired than Myers's voice is the story. After King Harold dies, Shrek must face the possibility of being king, a job he doesn't want. So, he goes on a journey with Donkey and Puss to find the next in line for the throne, who turns out to be high school student Arthur (as in King Arthur). Meanwhile, a pregnant Fiona stays behind and must thwart the new plans of Prince Charming, who has gathered up a bunch of other disgraced fairy tale characters to take over Far Far Away.

While "Shrek the Third" is sure to rake in millions, the whole issue of Myers' enthusiasm led me to realize that the entire voice talent cast has transformed into one of the greatest gatherings of acting has-beens in cinema history. What has Mike Myers done lately other than "Shrek"? Name a movie Cameron Diaz (Princess Fiona) has acted in during the last two years. The only thing Diaz is known for anymore is dating Justin Timberlake (who voices Arthur). Antonio Banderas? I saw Melanie Griffith's vein-riddled legs on the Internet the other day, which was the first time I've thought of Banderas this decade.

Then there are some of the side characters: Queen Lillian (Julie Andrews), King Harold (John Cleese), Prince Charming (Rupert Everett) and Merlin (Eric Idle). Good for Idle and Cleese for parlaying their Monty Python days into this crap, but I guarantee you there weren't ten people in the theater who could identify those two in a line-up. Rupert Everett? I remember he was in a film with Madonna. That was like ten years ago. Amazingly, the only actor in the cast who has any recent acting cred is Eddie Murphy (Donkey) and it all went up in smoke when he followed "Dreamgirls" with "Norbit" and effectively embarrassed himself right out of an Oscar.

"Shrek the Third" just seems like a money tree a few actors are shaking because they have nothing else to do.