Everyone knows that “The Simpsons” has been going downhill for the last several years. It’s just not what it once was. Well, welcome to the nadir.

More or less, “The Simpsons Movie” is four episodes back-to-back. This means that it seems four times as long as a regular episode. If there’s some kind of mathematics of quality, it stands to reason that the movie should be four times as good as a result. Not only it was far from that, but I spent much of the two hours wondering what had gone so wrong in my life that I had driven a significant distance to sit in a theater and watch television.

The main differences between the movie and the television show are these:

1. We see an animated version of Bart’s penis.

2. Homer flips Springfield the bird and we see the bird.

3. Bart says the word “ass.”

More or less, that's pretty much the big payoff. I mean, how much time have they had to work on this thing? Couldn’t they do better?

After Lisa works to get Springfield to stop dumping waste in the lake, Homer disregards Marge’s advice and dumps an entire load of pig feces in it, prompting President Schwarzenegger and his head of the EPA, Russ Cargill (Albert Brooks), to drop a big dome over Springfield. Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie escape through a sinkhole in their backyard and move to Alaska, but when Marge sees a television commercial and realizes Springfield is going to be destroyed, she returns with the kids, leaving Homer to decide between his personal well-being and that of the town.

Near as I can figure, this movie is simply an excuse for Rupert Murdoch to wring a last few dollars from the franchise so that he can finalize his takeover of the Wall St. Journal. Which made me draw a startling connection: Didn't "The Simpsons," in a way, make Fox News possible? Just connect the dots: The Simpsons saves Fox Broadcasting, which leads to Fox News, which leads to global warming and Abu Ghraib. That's what cashing Murdoch's checks will get you. Kinda puts that "eat my shorts" line in a whole new perspective.