The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

Bomb Rating: 

Since I'm neither female nor 17, it's pretty much assured that the overly sentimental girly bonding thematics of this picture aren't going to play well in my brain. Estrogen isn't an option at the popcorn counter these days.

So, let's just start with the obvious: Four girls of widely different builds find a pair of pants that fits all of them. Okay, look, it's one thing if four girls who are built the same (girls of similar builds DO tend to hang out together) find a pair of pants that fits them all, but to suggest that a fat girl can get in a thin girl's pants is just stupid. Why don't we just slap those things on John Goodman while we're at it?

Anyway, the girls go their separate ways for the summer and decide to send the pants back and forth for good luck or to stay connected or keep their cycles in sync or whatever the hell 17-year-old girls do to comfort their weepy selves during those three unbearable months when they're away from their friends. Lena (Alexis Bledel) goes to Greece. Bridget (Blake Lively) goes to soccer camp. Carmen (America Ferrera) goes to visit her dad. Poor Tibby (Amber Tamblyn) gets to stay home for the summer working in a Wal-Mart clone.

Second thing: I'll admit that the actress playing Bridget, Blake Lively, is hot enough to make me wonder if the sticky theater floor had something on it other than spilled Coke, but if you're going to cast an actress as a soccer player, at least get one that looks even remotely athletic. I had to lean forward during any scene in which Bridget was running to check to see whether or not the film was suddenly going in slow motion. She's about as athletic as a cadaver.

Lots of different things happen to the girls. What the pants had to do with any of it, I have no idea. I won't belabor the details of each girl's coming-of-age story, but easily the most annoying was Tibby's friendship with Bailey (Jenna Boyd), the young girl with the tumor who must die to teach everyone a lesson. Basically, you know that when Tibby gives Bailey the pants and they actually don't fit, the girl has bought herself a one-way ticket to Wormtown for sure. The formula "drama = killing off sympathetic young girl" just doesn't fit for me.

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