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Snakes on a Plane Caption Contest
Winner: nickumoh
"Samuel told the operator he had "A Reptile Dysfunction.'"
Get credit for the funniest caption!
New Photos on Friday. Winners posted on Wednesday
Winner's Page
Post a caption entry in the forum below
Captions:
- WOW! I thought a Double Winner was a myth like Bigfoot or a Female Orgasm! nickumoh
- TO THE MOON PHALLUS gumby
- Oh yesssss.....I came all over the phone! whysoitenley
- Boy, do I have a big putz! whysoitenley
- "This is no time for a hissy fit!" nickumoh
- my anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns hun! lisajb4
- ohhhhh yeah baby, im stroking it for you right now lisajb4
- This is one Ugly Motherfucker. SBC-Jester21
- MY TOP 10 SIDE SPLITTERS JELLYFISH
- Henry? DeVito's running out of ways to try to whack me. JPBuckner
- 'Operator, bend over' Banned
- Next time, let's do 'Snakes On A Dude Ranch'--yes, yes...in Crawford, Texas jacruise
- Calling all lemmings: come out of your mother's basement and see my movie! jacruise
- For my next trick I'm going to LAUGH all the way to the bank! jacruise
- What's scarier: this snake or the idiots who came to see this movie? jacruise
- "Duke? It's Roadblock....Sepentor has been secured." Form-VII
- Thank god for Jetblue. yvr73
- "What? Those muthafuckas cancelled Stargate Sg-1? Now I'm pissed!" MR_MUCUS
- "Hello, all the King's horses and all the King's men, I need a favor." nickumoh
- My favorites foxjedi
- Hello snake? The operator doesn't work. Shit! I mean hello operator?... Icky_icky_fetang_zoot
- Caption Contest wiltonjh
- "Dammit, Medusa's been using by hairbrush again!" Mr_Nonsense
- Ok, first I press program, then enter, wait! this isn't my remote control! tiwi
- "I hope I still have the receipt, I'm taking you back to the snake pound." nickumoh
- "You said turn to COBRA when I lost my health insurance." Mr_Nonsense
- Yeah, it's female. Don't ask me how I know...I SAID, DON'T ASK! ben243243
- "Well I would check it's pulse but I can't work out where it's neck starts" JELLYFISH
- "Doc, It bit me on my penis but I'd like to keep the swelling if possible?" JELLYFISH
- Snake: "pleasssse don't put me back in cargo, there's no legroom". JELLYFISH
- I should have read the small print when I agreed to the duties of sitting www.piranhakeeper.com
- I said I expect first class to include motherfucking SNACKS on the plane! www.piranhakeeper.com
- Snakes on a Plane: Sequel to Rats on a Plane www.piranhakeeper.com
- A Columbian anaconda on the plane! Bush is going to attack Italy for this. Yamato
- No, there are no more motherfucking rats on the plane, asshole. www.piranhakeeper.com
- I cant bring water on the plane, but some motherf****er can bring this? Yamato
- Jackson takes time to phone in his caption contest entry written on a snake Scumby
- It says 665. What! It's not the Devil! Tell me where the f**k is he then? Yamato
- My word, snakes on the airplane. Most distressing indeed. Blimey! Yamato
- No, Doctor, It is definately NOT "just a rash". moosedrum
- 1-800-DOC-PHONE moosedrum
- When SCourtney Love Attack! Scumby
- No I didnt make a mistake with the inch and foot symbols in my personal ad. www.piranhakeeper.com
- Hollywood blatantly rips off Troma's penis monster! www.piranhakeeper.com
- Come on back honey, I should have warned you I would be using the big black www.piranhakeeper.com
- Damn, I thought blue balls was bad enough. Not my whole dick is blue. www.piranhakeeper.com
- Call off the terror alert.Theres snakes on the plane.Not shieks on thePlane www.piranhakeeper.com
- Oliver Stone's 'World Trade Center' explains that 9/11 was caused by www.piranhakeeper.com
- Yeah baby! And do you know if jacking off my 'black acaconda' on a plane www.piranhakeeper.com
- "You can stop playing Shania Twain over the intercom--the snakes are dead" rainman76x
- ... and they gave this role to me instead of Steve Irwin because... DeepPurple
- Fox Special: When Phone Sex Gets Confusing Drunky
- You sending The Wolf? Shit negro thats all you had to say. yvr73
- OK, pot's in the bowl...now where do I light it? michael3b
- my ..... preccccciousssssssss ...... GOLLUM
- "I wish I could quit you!" nickumoh
- "Live, damn you, LIVE!!" nickumoh
- Opps. My mistake. I thought Bob Barker said to have pets spade AND neutered nickumoh
- Oh, no, it wasn't the airplane. It was Beauty killed the Beast. JohnnyAbsinthe
- Say hello to my little friend! JohnnyAbsinthe
- Pulp Friction JohnnyAbsinthe
- Black Snake Moan JohnnyAbsinthe
- This is why they call me Shaft JohnnyAbsinthe
- Frozone? More like Mr. Incredible. JohnnyAbsinthe
- Hello, can I speak to Pamela Anderson? JohnnyAbsinthe
- Fuck Tommy Lee! JohnnyAbsinthe
- Hello, Kristin Bell? It's Sam. I'll meet you by the elevator, babe. aaa123
- "I am holding the only reason Madonna ever dated me." CrazyEddy
- Never bring snakeskin luggage on a time travel flight. ben243243
- No it wasn't you. My wife always acts paralyzed during sex I_Hate_Movies
- "Hello, George Lucas? Why the fuck did Mace Windu have to die?!" sonofthedummy
- Snake Plisskin? I heard you were dead! backstabber
- I don't think Viagra is supposed to do this.... plunderbunny
- Samuel L. Jackson, clearly reading his lines on the back of the snake plunderbunny
- "Last time I order the f***ing kosher meal." Dano
- "Dammit, can't I find one herpetologist who answers his phone?" MR_MUCUS
- And that's when Streisand reverted to her true form...are you still there? MR_MUCUS
- Hey doc, are you *sure* that this Enzyte stuff is safe? hEADcRASH
- Hey, Rajah. I found Little General. Shakesmear
- Actually..forget the Metal Gear movie. I'll do the G.I Joe flick instead. foxjedi
- Old grey snake she ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be... nickumoh
- "Hello. Pizza Hut? I have a quick question." jazzdrive_for_me
- Hello internet? Could you blog me a motherfuckin' plot? aaa123
- All I wanna know from you, muthafucker, is 'does it taste like chicken?' ninjasuper
- Air Zimbabwe's in-flight meals were also difficult to eat without utensils. roostur
- Sam requests a seat that's *not* next to Alice Cooper. roostur
- ...1,724 Mutha F*ckin' Snakes on the Plane, 1,725... roostur
- The Falwell ministry showing you the terrible consequences of phone sex. Cannon_Fodder
- "Sam, you're fine! I'm just on my period, that's all..." Scumby
- Why the blind need to be careful when reaching for toilet paper on a plane. Scumby
- "Master Yoda, Ihe force is strong in this one." Scumby
- He was the only nigga who would snake a toilet. www.piranhakeeper.com
- These ribbed condoms really don't improve my masturbatory sensasion. www.piranhakeeper.com
- Doc, my erection has lasted more than 4 hours. www.piranhakeeper.com
- Bitch this call is costing me $2.99 a minute + I aint near cummin yet. www.piranhakeeper.com
- "Our double agent snake had what pattern on his back?" Cannon_Fodder
- "It's for you." Cannon_Fodder
- "What do you mean protected endangered species?" Cannon_Fodder
- "Yeah, Orbitz--I checked the snake-free option when I booked online..." rainman76x
- "I'd just like to say, good luck, we're all counting on you..." dylanfan1969
- "They could've just called this movie, "Air Force One." dylanfan1969
- "End of the Riverbottom Nightmare Bands Singer..." dylanfan1969
- "Is this Courtney Love? Y'all need to get to the clinic, bitch!" Heywood_JBlowme
- Fortunately his trouser snake was still under warranty. Scumby
- Trouser snake on a plane. yvr73
- The note says "To Wong Foo, Fangs For Everything - Julie Newmar." MR_MUCUS
- "Yoda, I got that slith lord we were looking for." MR_MUCUS
- What time is it? Why it's...SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!!! michael3b
- At least I'm not in "Edison Force." Eat that Morgan Freeman! foxjedi
- Steve? I know there's 'dainja dainja dainja' involved. Get to the point. foxjedi
- Marty? I don't care if Dave Chepell is wearing one. This tie is ugly. foxjedi
- NASA? We have a problem with the space station's toilet hook up. foxjedi
- Paris? Yeah, yeah you left your 'back massager' in the john. foxjedi
- caption quibix
- False alarm sir. Someone forgot to stow P Diddy in the overhead bin. yvr73
- At least the TSA didn't allow bottled water onboard. yvr73
- WTF? I just found one of Chuck Norris' pubic hairs on the plane. Banned
- "Yeah it's me, the Vice President has been secured." Form-VII
- Jackson never leaves home without his Serpentium IV PDA. Scumby
- "Hi, I need a new agent." Scumby
- I always call my penis at least once a week. michael3b
- "Maybe I should have this thing circumcised." MR_MUCUS
- "Yes, Mr. Jackson, I have to ask--Who let the snakes out?" rainman76x
- "This is one big muthaf--kin' garter snake" rainman76x
- Garcon, I asked for steaks on a flame. Steaks on a flame! JPBuckner
- 1-800-Orkinman yvr73
- Yeah, Karl Rove transformed, but I got him. yvr73
- Yes sir, the snakes starved to death flying Delta economy class. yvr73
- TV EDIT: rainman76x
- "Uh, Bush, declaring 'mission accomplished' on airport security...wrong!" rainman76x
- Mr. Jackson, have you considered the peace of mind of funeral pre-planning? rainman76x
- I got my muthafuckin' snake, now get me my muthafuckin' plane! MAYORBOB
- Phone sex with Sam Jack was fucking disgusting Form-VII
- Brett Ratner's remake of the Five Deadly Venoms was par for the course Form-VII
- Hello, Osama? Dog you're not even trying anymore are you? Form-VII
- Hello? Naw...still don't want some unless you got buns hun Form-VII
- Jerry Bruckheimer's Genesis...bigger, badder and blacker then ever Form-VII
- Is there a sign on this plane that says "Dead Snake Storage?" nickumoh
- Lable pasted on the snakes forehead: Property of Q. Tarantino nickumoh
- If you don't like my slithering, call 1-800-BITEME JPBuckner
- "Doc, I'm having problems with my anaconda." savvos
- Hello? It's a MOTHER FUCKIN' SNAKE ON THE PLANE!!! pa_hardy
- Hello? Yeah, I ordered this without fangs. jazzdrive_for_me
- Snakes on a Plane Caption contest pa_hardy
- "What do mean 'paralysis within 20 minutes', Elle?" MR_MUCUS
- "You sendin' the mongoose? Shit, Negro, that's all you had to say!" MR_MUCUS
- "In his latest movie, Jackson plays a cold-blooded killer." MR_MUCUS
- As far as he was concerned, all the other slim snakeys were just immitating TMundo
- He picked up the phone but it was dead, so he picked up the snake, but... TMundo
- "You sure this thing will unclog my pipes?" MR_MUCUS
- Samuel told the operater he had "A Reptile Dysfunction" nickumoh
- "We're in a plane and we gotta get out of the sky, pronto..." MR_MUCUS
- "My wife hates snakes, which pretty much makes me a snake hater, too." MR_MUCUS
- "The Serpent and the Plane, Bro'." MR_MUCUS
- "Shaft, he's one bad mamba fucker!" MR_MUCUS
- "On a plane"? You didn't say they'd be INSIDE the motherfucker! Hayzeus
- "Ace Ventura, a got an assignment for you." MR_MUCUS
- What? John Mark Karr confessed to killing this snake, too? JPBuckner
- Erotic Phonecall Problem #347: Substitutes Snake for Chicken Icky_icky_fetang_zoot
- "Why ain't my muthafuckin' dick hard?" HomeSkillet
- If the snake is red with blue rings, press 1. If the snake is green with... jlsnwu
- What do you mean, apply directly to the forehead? JPBuckner
- Passengers? This is what happens if you don't return your mother*&^^ seats JPBuckner
- Sam confronts his agent. JPBuckner
- Mr. Director? It's offical, we have movie title. JPBuckner
- Samual L. Jackson and Kurt Russell in 'Escape from LAX' JPBuckner
- HSA? You confiscated my Mountain Dew, but let THIS on board? JPBuckner
- Motherf*** snakes? Why did it have to be motherf^&** snakes? JPBuckner
- Sam meets a more convincing villian than Hayden Christensen. JPBuckner
- "Wait a minute! You're telling me that this ISN'T my penis???!!!" vectorzero
- The mile high club just got 2 new members. Icky_icky_fetang_zoot
- No I don't know sh*t about no chamber of secrets! Icky_icky_fetang_zoot
- "Hello? Rikky-Tikky-Tavi please..." Icky_icky_fetang_zoot
- Hello, poison control? I was stroking my pet snake & it spit venom on me... Icky_icky_fetang_zoot
- Well, it looks like a dimondback...How do I know? Because... Icky_icky_fetang_zoot
- Hello, Tech Support, yes, my snakes serial number is ... WayHomer
- "PARSELTONGUE, MUTHAFUCKA, DO YOU SPEAK IT???" fiddelysquat
- Users of Levitra may experience mild side effects aaa123
- Yeah I'm calling to complain about the Pizza NT Critico
- It's been more than 4 hours, and looking more like a blacksnake than usual. loudersubtitles
- "I knew I shouldn't have checked my lighsaber, fucking Homeland Security!" sonofthedummy
- "Mr. Jackson, snakes taste like chicken. You people do like chicken?" rainman76x
- "Yes, this snake deserved to die and I hope it burns in hell!" rainman76x
- "The Butterball Turkey Hotline was stumped" convenor
- "Yes, there's snakes on the plane. No, this isn't Air Force One." rainman76x
- "You're telling me saying 'motherf--ker' causes these snakes to spawn?" rainman76x
- One of the problems with cheap South American airlines. Cannon_Fodder
- Saint Patrick for the 21st century. Cannon_Fodder
- "No shit lady, do I sound like I'm ordering a pizza!?" Cannon_Fodder
- Once again telemarketers call at a bad time. Cannon_Fodder
- "These snakes are responsible for every war in history!" Cannon_Fodder
- Sammy J goes transvestite hunting. sukmyschwanz
- "Is this John Bobbitt? I think I might have something of yours..." sukmyschwanz
- "Yes doc, I'm sure it's been more than four hours!" The_Angry_Negro
- "My anaconda don't want nun unless you got buns hun." The_Angry_Negro
- "Why it's so good to be black." The_Angry_Negro
- I'm tellin you Doc, I've had jock itch before and this aint it smooticus
- Where's my puffer? sukmyschwanz
- Viagra out of control. jrlewis79
- I am not sure but Veronica Mars can suck a golf ball through it CNYSkinFan
- Momma must have never told Samuel that choking the snake causes hairy hands Junk_Yard_Dog
- Sabotage has once again ruined the company Fantasy Football League nickumoh
- "So this what Marcellus Wallace had in that fuckin' case." Mr_Nonsense
- AND YOU WILL KNOW MY NAME IS THE LORD WHEN I LAY MY VENGEANGCE UPON THEE! nickumoh
- He quoted Ezekiel 25:17 before killing the snake, not knowing it was Mormon nickumoh
- The noise on the other end of the line isn't static; it's Ssssssssssssssss! ben243243
- From now on, anytime Sam Jackson flies anywhere, the staff have their fun. ben243243
- Endangered species? Well his ass is extincted now! ben243243
- This is not what I had in mind when I decided to walk the Earth. ROTJob
- Black Snake Groan ROTJob
- "Yes, I'm telling the truth. Snape's dead." ROTJob
- This is some fucked up repugnant shit. ROTJob
- Lets see.. its long, black, and semi-hard. Envy
- At least i'm not wearing a kilt and carrying golf clubs SPARGS
- Bad Captions on a Plane Mr_Nonsense
- "I need to order a dozen mongeese." Mr_Nonsense
- From coach, Harrison Ford bellows, "Get off my plane!" ben243243
- Sam Jackson gets a great idea how to kill these slithery motherfuckers. ben243243
- Operater: "For lizards on a plane, press 1 now. For frogs on a plane..." Mr_Nonsense
- If black touches yellow, he's an....oh, who cares? I killed it already. ben243243
- Doctor, it burns when I pee, but I don't think it's gonorrhea. eudaimonia
- I've had it with these mother fucking snakes on this mother fucking plane! Mr_Nonsense
- Jackson assures his daughter that he likes the newest tie she bought him. ben243243
- "Someone's getting boots for her birthday." gamerarocks
- "Hello, Mr Wolf?" gamerarocks
- "Hey agent boy, you get me more parts like this and I'm gonna go back to gamerarocks
- "A fine example of Alabama Black Snake" Hamartoma
- "...everyone else" Hamartoma
- "Next time, I wish she would write her number on a cocktail napkin like..." Hamartoma
- "Rattler? I hardly even know her." Mr_Nonsense
- "Yeah, well you can kiss my black asp!" Mr_Nonsense
- "Made in Tawain?" Mr_Nonsense
- No, there is no 'dead viper storage' sign on the front of your house. Mr_Nonsense
- "Hello, Big Kahuna burger? I found something in my fries." Mr_Nonsense
- "Feed me, Seymour!" Mr_Nonsense
- "Fangs for the memories, you scaly muthafucker." Mr_Nonsense
- "My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hon!" Mr_Nonsense
- "Hello, doctor, I beat it until blood came out, should I be worried?" Mr_Nonsense
- "What did you say about my mamba?" Mr_Nonsense
- "Something doesn't adder up here." Mr_Nonsense
- These are your intestines. These are your intestines, in your hand. Scumby
- Jackson just doesn't know which tie to wear to the banquet tonight. Scumby
- "I thought I was co-starring in this movie with Kurt Russell." Cannon_Fodder
- "You won't believe what's wrong with the food this time." Cannon_Fodder
- "Hi Gung-ho, could you put Duke on the line." Cannon_Fodder
- "Hi Indy, yeah I don't think you should get on at Dallas." Cannon_Fodder
- Jackson phones in another performance. Cannon_Fodder
- "SAY HISS AGAIN. I dare you, I double dare you, motherfucker!" Cannon_Fodder
- "Never mind the snakes why can't I get a cordless phone?" Cannon_Fodder
- The rumours about black men are true. Cannon_Fodder
- "911? I'm beating a dead snake. Hey, this muthafucker got no legs!" fellow_consumer
- What happened when Hollywood decided to remake 'The Crocodile Hunter' dlew919
- Samuel L.'s love of psychoactive drugs and onanism gets the better of him. Throwing_Muses
- When porn stars see an unfamiliar rash, they call Dr. Booti, MD. Scumby
- "Hello, 911? I've just strangled Paris Hilton." Scumby
- "Yeah baby, but MY trouser snake's got REAL teeth..." Throwing_Muses
- "No, I will NOT say Mother-Fucker again, Mother-Fucker!" M_H
- "Time to make myself a new "Bad Mother Fucker" wallet..." M_H
- "Hello, Cobra Commander? You have A PROBLEM, motherfucker!!" ModernRonin
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