Solo

Bomb Rating: 

Solo is an android. However, he's obviously been built with leftover Data and Spock parts culled from rejected "Star Trek" scripts.

The fact that I wasn't the first one to run screaming from the theater is a rousing tribute to this film. Solo (Mario Van Peebles) is the perfect soldier. He has no family. No friends. No birth certificate. No Social Security number. No medical benefits. For President Clinton, he's the answer to the national health care crisis, while Bob Dole is trying to deport him.

Solo is an android. However, he's obviously been built with leftover Data and Spock parts culled from rejected "Star Trek" scripts. Despite his programming, Solo starts feeling bad when he kills people. He actually says things like "That's not logical" and "Captain, the warp nacelles are malfunctioning." This doesn't sit too well with Col. Madden (William Sadler) or Gen. Haynes (Barry Corbin) who feel really good when they kill people and can't understand why Solo is acting like such a girlie-man.

Fearing he'll be reprogrammed, Solo runs off into an unnamed Latin American country and befriends some villagers who are being picked on by smarmy Latin American rebels (and what Latin American rebels aren't smarmy?).

Aside from Solo's ridiculous philosophical conundrum, director Noberto Barba seems fascinated with a hole in Solo's side, which he's forced to cover up with different types of clothing every time the special-effects budget begins to run low. Undoubtedly though, Barba's best camera work is the "chicks dig me" shot of the luscious village senorita marveling at Solo's pectorals -- clear evidence that Barba realizes what a walking dildo his creation really is.

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