Space Jam

Bomb Rating: 

After Bugs Bunny and the rest of the Looney Tunes characters challenge space aliens to a game of basketball, the space aliens, using some kind of space-alien technology, rob the skills from key NBA players to use as their own. They drain the talent from such greats as Patrick Ewing, Mugsy Bogues, Larry Johnson and Charles Barkley. Inexplicably, they also drain the talent from Shawn Bradley.

To steal Shawn Bradley's talent, the space aliens would first have to find it, and the Earth's best minds have so far failed to do that. After Michael Jordan and his accompanying animations win the game, the space aliens are compelled to give Shawn Bradley his talent back. Maybe I missed something, but I noticed no significant difference between the "before" and "after" of this little exchange.

This must be one of the most ridiculous cases of tokenism I've ever seen. I can clearly picture the Hollywood executives waving this script saying, "Hey, we need a white guy to show that some white guys in the NBA have talent too! Let's get Shawn Bradley; he's got talent!" No, Shawn Bradley does not have talent -- he has a head that scrapes the bottom of the smoke alarm when he walks through his house.

Because of this Shawn Bradley fiasco, I strongly encourage both blacks and whites to boycott "Space Jam." Whites shouldn't have to endure this thinly veiled attempt at appeasement and blacks shouldn't tolerate the insinuation that the game Shawn Bradley plays bears some resemblance to the game Michael Jordan plays.

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