Species II

Bomb Rating: 

This film doesn't even try to hide the fact that the only things it has going for it are Natasha Henstridge's breasts, which makes it one of the most idiotic wastes of $30 million dollars in film history. Hell, I bet I could have titled the film "Natasha Henstridge's Breasts," made it for a lot less, and got all the same teenage boys to buy tickets.

That's right; plot, character, story -- everything -- is constructed around that inevitable moment when Eve (Henstridge) removes her shirt and flashes her talent. It's a real milestone for female empowerment. There's also a real meaningful alien blowjob scene. What's next? Alien threesomes?

The story revolves around preventing Eve -- the newly cloned version of Sil -- from having sex with Patrick Ross (Justin Lazard), who's been infected with mutant DNA and is running around screwing women to death. If he gets to Eve, they could screw and create a Species so pure it might be smart enough to think about not making "Species 3," a proposition which could destroy the career of the talentless Michael Madsen.

So, Eve is trapped in a cage and watched by Dr. Laura Baker (Marg Helgenberger) who occasionally asks if Eve would like a bra or if Eve would like Dr. Laura to explain once again that if Eve runs really fast, she might be able to bust through the specially-designed, alien-proof Plexiglas that the scientists haven't fixed since the last film.

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