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...instead, of course, of seeing this film again.
Physically remove my brain from my skull and have it strained through first a tennis raquet, then an air conditioner vent, then a standard sieve, then a cheese grater, and finally the entire digestive tract of an incontinent goat.
Have any sufficiently pole-shaped object inserted into me, including, but not limited to: Fire hydrants, street signs, car mufflers, or the Sears Tower.
Pull myself inside out with my own bare hands.
Extinguish a chemical fire with my carcass.
Go for a quick swim in most any active volcano.
Listen to an Al Gore campaign speech.
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