Starsky and Hutch

Bomb Rating: 

I was ready to hate this film before I even saw it. First of all, I'm sick of feature films based on old television shows. There's a simple reason these shows aren't still on the air: People got sick of them and stopped watching. Nostalgia is overrated, and this feature-length remake of "Starsky and Hutch" is a prime example of why.

The second reason I knew I was going to hate this thing is because I had to write an article about the Academy Awards and thus got to watch Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson do their little "Starsky and Hutch" schtick out on the red carpet. I would have been less annoyed if they had just peed on the red carpet. Instead, Stiller played the straight man and got all indignant when Wilson walked up after him and stole a line during an interview.

To make matters worse, in "Starsky and Hutch," Stiller reuses one of his old gags from "The Ben Stiller Show." During a party where they hope to discover how Reese Feldman (Vince Vaughn) is going to distribute his untraceable cocaine, Starsky (Stiller) dresses up like an Italian guy and keeps repeating the words "do it" over and over again. This was a character on Stiller's show. If that weren't bad enough, Hutch (Owen Wilson) parrots the "do it" line, prompting two bad flashbacks for me at the same time.

There's another stunning scene in this film that nearly made me lose my lunch: It's the sight of Huggy Bear (Snoop Dogg) in his underwear. Snoop Dogg makes Lara Flynn Boyle look like a circus elephant. Speaking of circus elephants, what in the hell happened to Chris Penn, who plays Starsky's police antagonist, Manetti? Jesus Christ.

The cop buddy picture has been dead for a long time. There's basically nothing a director can do to make the genre work. "Starsky and Hutch" not only reminds the audience of this fact, but also just how bad '70s television really was.

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