Star Trek: Generations
Since there are enough annoying things in this film to fill the pages of a doctoral dissertation, I'll stick to three in an effort to keep the aneurysms amongst Trekkers to a minimum.
When Paramount was doing screen tests for this movie they went around showing part of the climax, where Picard (Patrick Stewart) and Kirk (William Shatner) fight Dr. Soran (Malcolm McDowell) in hopes of stopping him from launching a missile into the nearest sun, and asked people what they thought. The most common response went something like this (paraphrased, of course): "I've seen better scuffles in rest homes when the orderlies don't bring out dessert fast enough." Frankly, there's nothing fiercer than an octogenarian who hasn't gotten her fruit cup on time.
Since there are enough annoying things in this film to fill the pages of a doctoral dissertation, I'll stick to four in an effort to keep the aneurysms amongst Trekkers to a minimum.
1) Never mind that Scotty should need his own inertial dampening field to keep him from breaching the hull every time the ship rocks about. That inconsistency we can live with. But who the hell came up with the idea of Alan Ruck as captain of the Enterprise B? Placing his weenie persona (mostly from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off") in a captain's chair hardly starts the movie off on a credible note.
2) Once the movie gets to the "Next Generation" characters, the absurdity of having to get Kirk back into the picture (one suspects that lawyers were somehow involved) makes for one of the stupidest technobabble gadgets in the history of Star Trek: the Nexus. When Guinan (Whoopi Goldberg) explains that being inside the Nexus was like being inside George, it created a very unpleasant image in my mind -- until I realized she said "being inside joy," which made the image less unpleasant but also less interesting.
3) And finally, must loyal Trekkers be forced to endure a three-way acting duel between Stewart , Shatner and Data's emotion chip? Watching Stewart and Shatner go at it is like witnessing a title fight between Mike Tyson and a frozen enchilada, while Data's sole purpose appears to be his surprise use of the word "shit" as the Enterprise crashes. Or was he attempting to characterize the movie itself?
To spread the word about this Star Trek: Generations review on Twitter.To get instant updates of Mr. Cranky reviews, subscribe to our RSS feed.