Star Trek: Nemesis

Bomb Rating: 

Please, don't make any more of these.

RED ALERT: SPOILERS.

When are they going to kill this idiotic series, cancel every show associated with it, and shackle the fans to radiators inside their houses (or trailer homes) so we never have to see them out in public again?

Oh boy, Commander Riker (Jonathan Frakes) and Commander Troi (Marina Sirtis) get married in this film, which could have otherwise been titled "My Big Fat Betazoid Wedding." I will give the filmmakers this though: Wesley (Will Wheaton) does appear in the wedding scene, but he doesn't have a single speaking line. THANK GOD ALMIGHTY!

As many Trekkers, Trekkies, Treklosers and Trekvirgins already know, this is the film where Data dies. This is because they finally figured out that 40 years from now, when Brent Spiner is in a wheelchair or dead, it'll be really hard to get anyone to believe that Data is an android who doesn't age. Unfortunately, the filmmakers just can't let anything go and they create a "prototype Data" so that Brent Spiner has something to do in future films after he realizes that nobody will hire him to do anything in Hollywood that doesn't involve a bathroom brush.

Captain Picard (Patrick Stewart) and the rest of the crew head to Romulus where a Reman, Shinzon (Tom Hardy), has taken over the government. Little do they know that not only is Shinzon a clone of Picard, but he's going to destroy the Federation as well. Shinzon has a complex about not being as famous as Picard, so he's on a quest to make a name for himself. Coincidentally, William Shatner has developed the same complex.

As is typical with most "Star Trek" films, nothing makes much sense. I have these questions:

1. Isn't it a violation of the Prime Directive to take your dune buggy and go joy-riding on a pre-Warp planet?

2. In all their years of simulating space, haven't the producers learned anything about physics? Example: The Enterprise crashes into Shinzon's ship, leaving them stuck together in the middle of space. So, to get them unstuck, Shinzon backs up real slowly because apparently, the Enterprise is just going to rest there in the middle of space while Shinzon's ship pulls away from it. Now, what exactly is keeping the Enterprise frozen there?

Please, don't make any more of these.

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