Star Wars Caption Contest : Mr. Cranky Rates the Movies : Star Wars Caption Contest

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Star Wars Caption Contest

Winner: Tank Boy

"...Han Solo shot first...."

Get credit for the funniest caption!
New Photos on Friday. Winners posted on Wednesday
Winner's Page

Post a caption entry in the forum below

Captions:

Wohooo! But this one belongs to Mr. Mucus too!!! Tank Boy
Sun Ra won the space race fellow_consumer
The opening line of the Scientology bible. Yamato
...Republicans were fiscally responsible. michael3b
You had me at "long time". Scumby
...but enough about my childhood in Ohio nickumoh
- tell me about it...ummm...it snowed a lot. TMundo
...the people who picked on 'Star Wars' geeks weren't also geeks. <NT> Goldfish In The Toilet
Hollywood released a movie that people wanted to see whysoitenley
My Balls Itched! whysoitenley
.........dialogue and plot actually mattered. CNYSkinFan
"I hate it when these pornos try to have plots!" npacknabar
George, why isn't it long LONG time ago, if it's far far away? Pr0cession
Jay and Silent Bob were funny. Pr0cession
Government work was public service, not SELF-service Pr0cession
Colonel Sanders invented his secret recipe for fried chicken. Pr0cession
My dreams are dead an' buried! Squidbilly
...it was hard out there for a pimp. MR_MUCUS
Ken Lay's pretentious was still evident at his funeral's montage. Parca_Mortem
- Harsh! But funny! Scumby
- spelling error... Parca_Mortem
A, "Star Wars," que card for the subtitles guy. TMundo
special effects were black cardboard with holes punches out... ben243243
- midgets in a rolling can, hairspray and James Earl Jones' voice. ben243243
- Gummi bears, PCV pipe, 30 wt ballbearings toenail clippings & airplane glue nickumoh
- 400 model battleship kits, foam bricks, black light and qualudes foxjedi
Planetariums are getting desperate. ben243243
How all stories told by your drunk dad start off. ben243243
Shirley McClaine remembers her childhood!! Jgerovac
President Bush's attempt to update the public on the US Star Wars program Form-VII
...George Lucas raped your childhood with glee. Form-VII
9 out of 10 geeks mistake this for the first line in the book of Genesis. nickumoh
Cranky applies Deep Hurting with this caption contest. foxjedi
- Deeeeeeep Hurrrrrrrrting gamerarocks
Pavlov's bell for nerds and geeks rainman76x
....millions of Trekkies in their mother's basement became green with envy rainman76x
Poindexter Pavlovian phrase persists postmortem amano_hyo
- What is the sound of one billion nerds fapping? amano_hyo
...there were two kinds of people, those with guns and those who dig. MR_MUCUS
"we were young-----and believed" tanstaafl
The ultimate money shot for masturbating nerds. michael3b
- AWESOME! Well played... Form-VII
The original opening line of "American Pie". TheWreck
...Reganomics actually worked. MR_MUCUS
...it took actual talent to be a movie director. MR_MUCUS
...Superman was a flaming homo, just like today. MR_MUCUS
...there was a generation not brainwashed by pop culture consumerism. MR_MUCUS
...Alec Guinness went down on another guy in a restroom. MR_MUCUS
....I farted Hamartoma
...movies were immune to CGI tampering.... Hamartoma
Stupid karaoke machine, I asked for "Louie Louie". Yamato
The cutting edge special effects were amazing. Yamato
All that is need to start a nerd complaint frenzy. Yamato
...Star Wars movies didn't suck. Scumby
...Han Solo shot first. MR_MUCUS
- Oops...sorry, Tank boy. MR_MUCUS
...Nerds didn't complain incessantly about Lucas raping their childhood. spite
...a renegade cop! A robot renegade cop!" Tank Boy
- What do you mean "no in a galaxy"? Tank Boy
- ....Han Solo shot first... Tank Boy
"The Jedi Council banned igniting farts with a lightsaber..." sonofthedummy
"...aliens were doing shots every time President Bush said "uh" or "um"..." sonofthedummy
".. Chewbacca was wondering, "Where's my Clark Bar?"" sonofthedummy
... Jar Jar was brutally eviscerated. Everyone lived happily ever after. Cannon_Fodder
..there was a man named Brady. Cannon_Fodder
...Star Wars movies didn't feature Jar-Jar Binks. Cannon_Fodder
. . terrorists were allowed to destroy a once-thriving empire. fellow_consumer
The only frame of the original Star Wars trilogy that Lucas didn't fuck www.piranhakeeper.com
- with with his shitty CGI alterations. www.piranhakeeper.com
The last frame of the original Star Wars trilogy that Lucas didn't... www.piranhakeeper.com
- fuck up with his new shitty CGI modifications. www.piranhakeeper.com
... some of Al Gore's prediction actually came true. www.piranhakeeper.com
Is where I wish my ex wife lived. <NT> Goldfish In The Toilet
...young dumb actresses could be convinced 'there were no bras in space'. Goldfish In The Toilet
Mel Gibson:"'DAMMIT! That's how I was gonna open 'The Passion'!". <NT> Goldfish In The Toilet
When Harrison Ford was still a street pusher...<NT> Goldfish In The Toilet
George Lucas quit drinking and made the rest of the world suffer. <NT> Goldfish In The Toilet
George Lucas re-wrote the bible for dweebs. <NT> Goldfish In The Toilet
The last moment that Star Wars nerds had lives. Scumby
- I like that one^ Elwood83
the world's oldest profession got started. Scumby
all the stars cooled down and the universe ended. The End. Scumby
Oh god, somebody made a sequel to Elizabethtown Squishy
A Nerdy Man's Graffiti fellow_consumer
Wait a minute, if this is the middle three why is there an introduction? Icky_icky_fetang_zoot
...there were weapons of mass destruction. Icky_icky_fetang_zoot
Oh please, dont let it be Episode I. Yamato
- ^contender^ Pr0cession
there was space, the final frontier, and the name of the place, Babylon 5 Yamato
In space, no one can you snort as you read Dilbert. fellow_consumer
- oops fellow_consumer
- In space, no one can hear you snort as you read Dilbert. fellow_consumer
...you could buy a blueberry muffin with actual blueberries in it Elwood83
...Carrie Fisher was a good laya gumby
...you didn't have to sell your organs to buy gasoline. Elwood83
...you could trust the government. Elwood83
Before the Vogons destroyed the earth to put in a hyperspace bypass... Hanrocks_Cradler
Where real Star Wars fans first made life-long aquaintance with Hand Solo. fellow_consumer
...we were all shooting wamprats in Beggar's Canyon. Icky_icky_fetang_zoot
Translated from ancient Geek, it reads 'Good news: You'll never get herpes' fellow_consumer
Imagine a billion kids armed with toy lightsabers Blunt
- George Lucas ISN'T worth 3.5 Billion Blunt
- billions and billions and billions of stars CarlSagan spoke of still shine Blunt
- someone farted! Blunt
- a tree fell in the woods and no one heard. Blunt
...fah! A long, long way to go! MR_MUCUS
..lived the Mon Chi-Chis. MR_MUCUS
a menacing geriatric homosexual and his lunger stooge lorded over everyone. MR_MUCUS
...the last two Jedi did nothing while normal people fought for freedom. MR_MUCUS
...STAR WARS? That's not even a sentence! ben243243
computers used the universe for a screen saver. ben243243
yellow text scrolled through the stars revealing the entire plot. ben243243
...far too much time was put into coming up with the vanity plate 'UU D 44' gamerarocks
Little Known Facts... nickumoh
- Lucas originally heard Gene Roddenberry say it after a night of gay passion nickumoh
- Original phrase was: Two weeks ago on the streets of East Jersey nickumoh
- Richard Dreyfus screen tested for the role of C-3P0 ben243243
- Walter Mathau audition for the role of Obi-Wan Kenobi ben243243
- Christopher Walken was considered for the role of Han Solo. ben243243
- Have you heard Patton Oswalt's impersonation of Nick Nolte as Han Solo? nickumoh
- After attending an all night Trekkie circle jerk marathon, George Lucas . . fellow_consumer
- lettered this wonderous introduction himself, his de-perpellered beanie . . fellow_consumer
- functioning as a fabulous icing annointment utensil. fellow_consumer
- ^ - - <insert on> hat <insert off> fellow_consumer
- Both Harrison Ford and Alec Guiness thought Star Wars was stupid www.piranhakeeper.com
- They were both right. MR_MUCUS
...there may yet be brothers of man fighting for survival! Mr_Nonsense
...Yoda, Yada, Yada....They blow up a Death Star. michael3b
Stare hard enough and you�ll see a 3d puzzle image of George Lucas laughing Jynxx
...if you can read this, then you don't need glasses. foxjedi
- EDIT: ...if you can read this, then you don't need glassess. foxjedi
- Re: ...if you can read this, then you don't need glasses. Squishy
Exhibit A as to why narration was created Jynxx
It wasn�t until after 1977 that movies used narrators Jynxx
A popular movie was made that didn't have a sequel gamerarocks
You knew the moment you saw this, the movie was going to suck Jynxx
...The Muppets found a way to topple the mighty, evil empire... vectorzero
- ...Darth Vader tells Kermit the Frog and then chopped off his hand... vectorzero
Mark Hamill thought his career was taking off. I_Hate_Movies
...Star Trek: Conquest OPEN BETA was available to download. AWESOME!! Icky_icky_fetang_zoot
Fleet Johnson came over to repair Candi Canyon's droids. michael3b
- Fleet Johnson came over to service Candi Canyon's droids. michael3b
...there were some blue letters floating in space. Icky_icky_fetang_zoot
..Idiots on a moovy sight coodnt spel. Icky_icky_fetang_zoot
...there was this website that would bash the current movie. Icky_icky_fetang_zoot
There was this gallaxy that existed a long time ago, and was far far away. Icky_icky_fetang_zoot
- Correction: galaxy Icky_icky_fetang_zoot
Eyesight tests for Astronomers. Icky_icky_fetang_zoot
"...There was this place called Earth inhabited by morons." Icky_icky_fetang_zoot
...George Lucas needed more money. Jynxy74
the phrase 'Special Edition' did not exist. ben243243
...Han Solo's wookie sidekick wasn't so flame retardant. Mr_Nonsense
...evil was winning because good is dumb! Mr_Nonsense
..."force" was just a euphamism for "gaydar". Mr_Nonsense
I had sex with my wife Repo
"...." instead of "..." Lucas even goes overbudget on sentence structure! nickumoh
L. Ron Hubbard was born, again gamerarocks
Let the incest commence! gamerarocks
Well. at least it's not "It was a dark and stormy night" gamerarocks
A tribe of Ewoks prepared to rout the Emperor's Best Legion gamerarocks
movies didn't need exposition or three prequels of backstory. ben243243
No, Mr. President. This isn't how we'll thwart the North Koreans. foxjedi
This is the opening to Clerks II? Kevin Smith owes Lucas a percentage. foxjedi
Islam's hadith against pictures required an all-text version of Star Wars. Scumby
The words that marked the end of adult-aimed cinema. Mr_Nonsense
.... the elipsis contained four dots ... MAYORBOB
The lucky members of Heaven's Gate arrived in paradise. ben243243
The elipsis was created, and it was good... ben243243
Computers couldn't tell the difference between the years 1900 and 2000. ben243243
A caption contest was started, the consequences of which could not be known ben243243
People looked, talked and acted just like us....but they had lasers! ben243243
The guaranteed way to get an 'F' in creative writing class. ben243243
... was a planetoid called Sri Lanka, where ... beauregard
- Re: ... was a planetoid called Sri Lanka, where ... beauregard
Fortunately, Lucas was talked out of using "Meesa gon start dis movie now!" rainman76x
Al Gore created the universe. die maus
someone was having writer's block on the first page! die maus
...there were muthafuckin' snakes on this muthafuckin' plane! Mr_Nonsense
...O.J. Simpson found the real killers. Mr_Nonsense
...was beginning. We get signal! Mr_Nonsense
- Correction: ...war was beginning. We get signal! Mr_Nonsense
...something under the bed is drooling. Mr_Nonsense
the republican party was a great party of ethical and moral governance dlew919
...some nerd fed his pet snake and tarantula. yvr73
Ah christ, subtitles? noodles
Dick Cheney could eat red meat without keeling over. HomeSkillet
George Bush got laid. HomeSkillet
Britney Spears was a virgin. HomeSkillet
And the Question is: Where would I send Pauly Shore. Yamato
And the Question is: Where would I send Tom Green. Yamato
- Did not think it went through (computer froze) disregard this one Yamato
Cover your right eye and please read. Yamato
Mark Hamil's fifteen minutes of fame ticked away. foxjedi
Lucas said "let there be light" and there was light, and it was good. Yamato
Watching the birth of a billion dollars Yamato
Someone Farted. It was George Lucas. FenderDOOD
George Lucas sold his sole to the eternal devil of special efects. FenderDOOD
Atlas Shrugged. JPBuckner
Hayden Christiansen passed on acting lessons. JPBuckner
squids sailed the seven seas. JPBuckner
Elvis has throwing a big party. JPBuckner
- Corr: Elvis was throwing a big party. JPBuckner
the exposition roll was invented. JPBuckner
...Quaker Oats' edgy new take on Cap'n Crunch bombed with consumers. MR_MUCUS
...apes evolved from men. MR_MUCUS
...War Were Declared! MR_MUCUS
Peggy Sue got married. MR_MUCUS
Everyone spoke English, wierd, huh? MR_MUCUS
- ^^^ Didn't bomb at all! fellow_consumer
Two cowboys found love on Broke Backtooine. MR_MUCUS
...ther was a bloody great BIG BANG. Throwing_Muses
"George Lucas made a lot of money underestimating the public's tastes." MR_MUCUS
...Ken Lay got away with it. Throwing_Muses
...the Toyota Echo was not the subject of ridicule. Throwing_Muses
there was a caption so funny, it tore the galaxy apart. Scumby
all the lawyers were killed. Scumby
An evil alien named Xenu plotted to destroy short man's mind... that man foxjedi
- was Tom Cruise! foxjedi
one man could believe it wasn't butter. That man was...Fabio! foxjedi
people knew how to read. Scumby
Closed Captioning took on a whole new meaning.. Cranky Cow
somebody saved on their car insurance with GEICO. Scumby
Your vote counted Elwood
George Lucas still made good movies JPBuckner

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