Stealth

Bomb Rating: 

As far as I know, this movie was made prior to "Ray," but I still think they should take Jamie Foxx's Oscar away just for being in it.

Talk about a film that nosedives right into the ground after about thirty minutes. However, given that the director is Rob ("XXX") Cohen, it's not surprising that "Stealth" takes off in a completely stupid direction.

Basically what we have here is "War Games" meets "Top Gun" meets "Short Circuit." Three ace fighter pilots, Ben Gannon (Josh Lucas), Kara Wade (Jessica Biel) and Henry Purcell (Jamie Foxx), take on a fourth partner in the forum of an automated plane named Eddie. All of this happens under the command of Capt. George Cummings (Sam Shepard), who has his little house of cards teetering on such a tenuous precipice that the slightest breeze threatens to send his ethical compass into a terrifying spin, which is exactly what happens when Eddie gets hit by lightning and goes crazy.

This is a classic case of a film where the technology involved is so far beyond the intelligence of the director that the humor of the film overtakes the action in a nanosecond. I was particularly fond of the scene where Ben and Capt. Cummings don't want to talk in front of Eddie, so they go behind the sound-proof barrier of a strategically placed white bed sheet. I'm not exactly sure what they thought they were going to hide from the computer with the quantum brain, but needless to say, Eddie figured out how to bypass the many powers of the white bed sheet.

What's most stunning about this piece of crap is that W.D. Richter wrote it. Now, most people wouldn't generally recognize the name of a writer for a movie, but this guy directed "The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension" and wrote "Big Trouble in Little China." Seeing him with a credit on this film is more shocking than seeing Laura Bush giving Bill Frist a lap dance on the floor of the Senate. Given that he hasn't written anything since "Home for the Holidays" in 1995, it's pretty clear that he's run out of money. Perhaps there will be an extra on the DVD titled "When Poverty Strikes."

As far as I know, this movie was made prior to "Ray," but I still think they should take Jamie Foxx's Oscar away just for being in it. As ace pilot Henry Purcell, it's like he's trying to channel Pete "Maverick" Mitchell through a George Hamilton filter. It's damn strange. However, there might be in an explanation in the script, which demands that Henry die so that Ben and Kara can acknowledge feelings so pent up you'd swear they were going to explode in one scene. Get the sexually threatening black man out of the way and the two whities can get it on safely.

"Stealth" is about as obvious and stupid as a movie can be.

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