Stuart Little 2

Bomb Rating: 

I suppose it was necessary to make this film just to be absolutely positive that every last drop of joy was sucked right out of E.B. White's original material.

Is it just me, or does anyone have the sense that after they yell "cut" on a Jonathan Lipnicki film, some large guy runs in from off camera, grabs the kid, and tosses him into an oxygen chamber with Michael Jackson? It's either that or the kid is entirely computer-generated. I suppose it's possible he could be one of those freaks like Emmanuel Lewis or Gary Coleman and a few years from now we'll hear about Lipnicki slapping hookers and getting caught with AK-47s in the trunk of his Mercedes. Either that or he'll join Corey Feldman's band. I mean, for God's sake, isn't Lipnicki like 16 now?

I suppose it was necessary to make this film just to be absolutely positive sure that every last drop of joy was sucked right out of E.B. White's original material. I predict that in two years, enough domestic mice will be secretly released into the wild to cause some kind of epidemic. This time Stuart (Michael J. Fox) runs into a bird named Margalo (Melanie Griffith - AHHHH!) and is tricked by Margalo and her partner in crime, Falcon (James Woods). Margalo steals Eleanor Little's wedding ring and gives it to Falcon. It then becomes Stuart's mission to find the ring.

Though I personally found it to be a blessing, "Stuart Little 2" is about 65 minutes long. This is barely enough time for a tired parent to take a nap. Frankly, if a movie is going to be that short, I recommend an even shorter length: zero minutes.

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