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Amid fingerpointing, Slater was born to two very confused parents. At age three he uttered his first words, which were, "Change my goddamn diapers, you retards". From that moment Mr. and Mrs. Slater knew that their son was destined for greatness...as a bartender.
It was some years later that Slater came across Nick, while he was taking the lyrics out of Hello Dolly and turning it back into Gogul's The Matchmaker. Nick was an aspiring author who wanted to write in the worst way, and so Nick did when he and Slater teamed up.
Their first effort was a broadway musical based on the Dewey Decimal System. Their dreams were dashed when they couldn't find a producer that had actually checked out a book. Not to be perturbed, they quickly hacked out a synopisis of a screenplay based on their mutual affliction, Taurettes' Syndrome. The screenplay didn't sell, but Joe Pesci did buy the copyright to the dialogue.
After several years their writing was noticed by the United States' Department Of Defense. It was around the time of Desert Storm, and the DOD was looking for insidious secret weapons.
Nick and Slater were hired as gag writers by the DOD. Their jokes were translated into Iraqi language, and loaded into warheads which were exploded over enemy territory. The resulting carnage was ruled cruel and inhuman torture by the World Court. Their humor was banned in seventy eight countries and six solar systems, until the development of the Internet. Alas, the World Court's rulings are not acknowledged in cyberspace.
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