Post a response to this discussion thread
CUT TO MEB'S HOUSE
Everyone is preparing weapons for the upcoming firefight. Nick walks into the room carrying a Laws Rocket and grabs a bottle of wood alcohol out of Slater's hand.
NICK: That's for cleaning the guns, you fucking sot cocksucker.
As he walks off, skilly, who's next to Slater, wipes Cosmoline off of her breasts with an oily rag and turns to him.
SKILLY: What's up his ass?
SLATER: An unexploded grenade.
SKILLY: What?
SLATER: You heard me.
skilly raises her eyebrows.
SLATER: About a year ago…
IRIS OUT
IRIS IN - THE WATERFRONT - EXT - NIGHT
Slater, a 9mm pistol in his hands, slips out of the shadows and runs silently across the dock and into the shadow on the other side. He peeks around the crate he's behind and looks carefully around.
CUT TO - SLATER'S POV.
SLATER: Nothing out of the ordinary. Quiet. …A little too quiet.
He takes a deep breath, holds it for a second.
SLATER: HEY! IS ANYONE OUT THERE IN THE SAHDOWS WAITING TO KILL ME WHEN I STEP OUT?!
He listens for a moment. Silence.
SLATER: Hmph. Assclowns.
He steps out of the shadows and holsters his gun. He takes two steps and Mia Wallace pops out of the shadows and hits him on the head with a pipe wrench. He goes down and Mia stands there for a moment, her finger in her mouth. She giggles.
DISSOLVE TO the laboratory. Slater is face up on a huge slab. As he comes to, he looks up and sees a huge, gun-like machine hovering over him.
WULFGAR: Weww, Mw. Swater! Finawy awake, I see.
SLATER: Who the fuck is Mw. Swatter?
WULFGAR: SWAYTER, GODAMMIT! SWAYTER!!!
Slater thinks for a second and nods.
SLATER: Oh, yeah, okay, I get it. So what do you have planned for me, Woofgaw?
WULFGAR: NOT "WOOFGAW"!!! WOOFGAW!
SLATER: Whatever. What's the pwobwem?
WULFGAR: I wouwd choose youw next witticism cawefuwwy, my fwend.
He motions to the machine.
WULFGAR: Dis is an industwiaw waser, Mw. Swater. It can cut thwu anything on the face of the eawth. Incwuding you and youw skinny wittle wump.
Slater considers the predicament he's in for a moment and looks up at Wulfgar.
SLATER: Through my what?
Wulfgar turns and nods to a technician in the control booth high above the room and the laser hums to life. The beams starts to cut the board between Slater's legs. He begins to sweat, then sniffs, his nose wrinkling.
SLATER: What the fuck is that ass smell?
WULFGAR: The bowd. It's made out of wecycled kitties I puwwed out of my showts.
CUT TO the laser, as it creeps closer to Slater's crotch.
CUT TO CU of Slater, the sweat dripping down his face.
SLATER: If I'm killed, Thanatos will replace me!
WULFGAR: I twust Thanatos wiww have better wuck than you, Mw. Swater.
CUT TO ECU of Slater, the sweat pouring down his face in buckets.
SLATER: Do you expect me to talk, Woofgaw?
WULFGAR (walking away): No, Mw. Swater! I expect you to DIE!!!
CUT TO the beam as the laser gets closer to Slater's crotch. It begins to burn his pants.
CUT Slater as he sweats more.
CUT TO WS of the laboratory as a huge explosion blows one of the walls out. Equipment, technicians, and kittens fly everywhere. Through the smoke run Violet Beuregarde, Much Darker Conquerer, Haido, Beast, Nicky, Junk Yard Kid, and Nick-The-Knife, all toting automatic weapons and firing at everything in sight, including Slater.
SLATER: HEY, YOU FUCKING MORONS! DON'T SHOOT *ME*!!!
VIOLET: Ooops! Sorry!
She whips around and blasts one of Wulfgar's agents who's taking aim at her.
Nick runs up to him, looking around for aggressors to shoot.
NICK: You okay, dipshit?
SLATER: You mean other than having my dick about to be turned into a McDonald's Brat? No not at all, asswipe. SHOOT THE FUCKING LASER!
NICK: Oh. Sorry.
Nick blasts the laser and the beam stops just short of frying Slater's dick. Violet walks over and looks down.
VIOLET: Wow, that looks just like a penis, only smaller.
SLATER: Forget the fucking wisecracks and get me out of here, toots.
Nick and Violet begin to free Slater. Behind them, Wulgar appears on a high balcony, holding a grenade launcher. Next to him is an exit door and a switch with a sign over it reading PULL SWITCH TO DESTROY ENTIRE FACILITY.
WULFGAR: HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! WITTEW DID YOU DWEAM DAT YOUW WESCUE MISSION WOULD END IN TWADGEDY!!!
CUT TO WULFGAR'S POV as everyone stops and looks at him.
EVERYONE: What???
CUT TO Wulfgar as he stamps his foot.
WULFGAR: WHAT THE HEWW IS WONG WITH YOU PEOPUW??? DON'T YOU UNDEWSTAND ENGWISH???
CUT TO everyone standing below. They look at each other, shaking their heads and shrugging.
CUT TO Wulfgar.
WULFGAR: Mothewfukews!
He points the grenade launcher and pulls the trigger.
WULFGAR: SO WONG, MISTEW SWATER!!!
CUT TO Nick as he sees what's happening and leaps in front of Slater.
FREEZE FRAME
IRIS OUT
IRIS IN to MEB's house. skilly is looking at Slater, her eyes wide.
SKILLY: NTK took a grenade for you?
SLATER: Well, kind of. The grenade went up his ass and got stuck there. It can't be removed or it'll explode.
SKILLY: Whoa…
Nick walks back in and sits between them.
NICK: So how's it going?
SKILLY: Uh… fine.
She looks down at his ass.
SKILLY: Excuse me. I left my vibrator running.
She quickly moves of another part of the room.
NICK: What's up her ass?
SLATER: CFL, I think.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Post a response to this discussion thread