Sugar and Spice

Bomb Rating: 

If you're like me, "American Beauty" and "Bring it On" and "But I'm a Cheerleader" just haven't satisfied that need to see cheerleaders robbing banks, jumping out of airplanes and foiling international plots of evil.

Frankly, there just haven't been enough movies about cheerleaders lately. I mean, if you're like me, "American Beauty" and "Bring it On" and "But I'm a Cheerleader" just haven't satisfied that need to see cheerleaders robbing banks (as they do in this film), jumping out of airplanes and foiling international plots of evil.

I think Hollywood is missing an opportunity to inundate us with cheerleaders until each and every one of us is so full of them that we're crapping pom poms. Why did it have to be Tom Hanks stuck on that island? Why not a cheerleader? The conversation with the volleyball would have seemed so much more natural. And what about "Crouching Cheerleader, Hidden Baton"? Sean Connery in "Finding Cheerleaders"? Where were the cheerleaders in "Gladiator"? "Snatch" could certainly have involved more cheerleaders. "What Cheerleaders Want," "Shadow of the Cheerleader," "All the Pretty Cheerleaders," "Meet the Cheerleaders," "Cheerleaders of Honor," "Cheerleaders in Paris," "Dude, Where's My Cheerleader" -- the possibilities truly are endless.

At least one person, Mena Suvari, has got the message. She obviously didn't think playing yet another cheerleader in this film would stereotype her and I'm sure she's right. She could probably play different types of cheerleaders for the rest of her life because she's so darn talented. After all, her character in this film, Kansas Hill, has a bad attitude and is named after a state. Now, she certainly didn't play a cheerleader named after a state in "American Beauty." Nobody could possibly think these are the same characters or that the talent involved in playing each is in any way similarly negligible.

Led by Diane Weston (Marley Shelton), a group of cheerleaders plans to rob a bank after Diane gets knocked up by her boyfriend, Jack (James Marsden). You see, if cheerleaders can rob banks, they can do just about anything, can't they? "Sugar and Spice" proves that cheerleaders make valuable contributions to our society and culture, and that without them things in this world wouldn't be quite so cheery. Some people may say less cheerleaders and less cheerleading, but I say more. Oh yes, I say more.

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