Suicide Kings

Bomb Rating: 

If there were any doubt that snorting coke is still a problem in Hollywood, the direction and editing of this film ought to put that question to rest. First-time film director Peter O'Fallon and his editor, Chris Peppe, turn what should be a straightforward story of kidnapped mafia don Charlie Barrett (Christopher Walken) vs. five rich prep school brats, Max (Sean Patrick Flanery), Ira (Johnny Galecki), Brett (Jay Mohr), T.K. (Jeremy Sisto) and Avery (Henry Thomas), and turn it into "Night of the Sudden Flashback" and "Night of the Erratic Cutaway."

Since it's oh-so-couth to have the funny-yet-sadistic hitman in any movie dealing with the mafia, the film is continually cutting away to Lono Vecchio (Denis Leary), who's as quick with a quip as he is with a gun and about as unusual as snow in winter. Hey look, he's half Samuel L. Jackson from "Pulp Fiction," half Joe Pesci from "Goodfellas."

The boys all have their roles to play, which makes their interplay as entertaining as a bad high school play. Max is the brooder. T.K. is the smart one with the drug problem. Brett is the angry young man. Blah, blah, blah. The worst of all is Ira, who plays the sniveling, annoying little Jew. Say, Mr. O'Fallon, what happened to the dumb, drooling, Irish drunkard who beats his wife, molests his children and sticks his fingers up the asses of baby seals?

Who wrote these characterizations anyway, Reggie White?

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