Bomb Rating: 

Prior to making "Supercop," Jackie Chan had a vision. Hisvision led him to believe that he should seek out a mysterious Shaolin monk and match his skills against the monk's. If he could best the monk, or at least draw even, his next movie would be a huge success.

Chan paid several million dollars to an informant who led him to the monk's temple in the Honan province. Strangely, the monk refused to reveal his face to Chan as they talked. Chan told him, "I wish to make a wonderful action movie. It will have me. It will have Michelle Khan. It will have a great mix of kung fu, gun-fighting, humor and stunts. To balance my Chi and succeed in my task, I must match skills with you."

The Shaolin monk nodded and said, "Yes, I will match skills with you, Jackie Chan, but first I must tell you a story. Many years ago the greatest Kung Fu master the world has ever known heard a cry as he took his afternoon walk. Out in the fields he discovered a baby -- a non-Asian baby -- and out of the kindness of his heart decided to raise the child as his own. The child advanced in his studies as no other had before him and before he was fourteen, he was the greatest martial artist in the world.

"Unfortunately, the child did not succeed in his spiritual studies as he had in his physical ones and he was banished from his master's grounds for mocking and criticizing his master, for rejecting the spiritual teachings and for being churlish, choleric and cantankerous. The master's other students feared the outcast. They knew him by only one name... my name."

And at that point the mysterious Shaolin monk removed his hood and said one word: "...Cranky." At which point he proceeded to give Chan a really big ass-whoopin'.

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