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You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a flyswatter.
You burn your yard rather than mow it.
You come back from the dump with more than you took.
You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
You've bathed with flea and tick soap.
You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.
You think a hot tub is a stolen indoor plumbing fixture.
You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
You have a rag for a gas cap.
Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.
You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
You can spit without opening your mouth.
You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
You thought the Unabomber was a wrestler.
You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart.
You've used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.
You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.
You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65mph.
Somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth and you take them out to see.
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