Responses to this message:
THE TALENTED MR. RIPLEY
Hi, my name is Slim and I just saw a movie about deception, reception, rejection, dejection, humiliation, annihilation, a travel promo for Italy starring the next new hot spot for all the pamperedass, lilywhiteass richasses, Matt Damon leading with his chin but not much else, and how skinny can Gwenyth Paltrow get before she ends up in a hospital with chocolate malteds being pumped into her. Now they say the camera makes you look like you have an extra 10 pounds on you, which I'm figuring means Gwennie is somewhere around 85 pounds. Just what the hell is going on with all these popsicle stick bone protuding excuse me while I go to the bathroom and hurl my lunch actresses? Meanwhile the guys are pumped up buffed up slicked up rubbed up watch me talk and walk at the same time so I'm an actor slowheads.
I'm talking about The Talented Mr. Ripley, in which Matt Damon, who has a chin that makes Jay Leno look like a mouse, decides that the life of the idle rich is the one he wants, so since he's in Italy it's when in Rome do as the Romans do so he makes like a gladiator and starts killing people. First he kills the guy he wants to be, then he kills the guy who finds out who he wants to be, then he kills the guy who wants him to be who he used to be, and then he realizes he's a dumbass for killing all these people so maybe he should just kill himself, but we don't know if he does because the movie ends just as we want him to do it so we won't have to watch him anymore. Meanwhile, Gwennie is going around looking like she needs to eat about 24 pounds of spaghetti and meatballs, and everyone is looking like they just stepped into one of those Let's Visit Italy! Travelogues that are shown at Rotary and AARP meetings.
We got Let's Do Italy on $100 day, we got scenes of being too rich and too thin and too stupid, we got scenes of thump goes the head, we got Matt Damon amazed he's in a movie, and finally we got what to do the next time you think you need to get out of your wretched poorass life.
Two and two-thirds anorexic stars. Go check it out but only if you feel like your next vacation is going to be in Italy and you want to know where to go.
El Monte Slim
Responses to this message:
Post a response to this discussion thread