The Tao of Steve

Bomb Rating: 

I don't know why, but I originally thought that this was a documentary about a guy named Steve and the interesting ways he picks up chicks despite being a fat pig. This sounded like a fairly interesting premise since we all see beautiful women going out with ugly, geeky guys on television, but then when we see a blond beauty with giant hooters in our neighborhood and ask her out on a date, suddenly there's a squad of policemen on the scene with a "crisis negotiator" in tow.

It's no surprise then that this whole "Tao of Steve" thing is just another fiction designed to give us normal guys the false hope that personality actually counts for something. There's no Steve in the movie. Rather, the guy who supposedly practices this "Tao of Steve" crap is named Dex (Donal Logue). He gets laid all the time and women seem to find him irresistible. The main tenet of this philosophy is "we pursue that which retreats from us." Dex explains that the way for a man to use this when he's out on a date is to not think about having sex with the woman and then she will want to have sex with him. This is all stuff most of us have heard before.

Of course, Dex meets a woman, Syd (Greer Goodman), who seems immune to his charms and exposes the "Tao of Steve" as the philosophy of a man who's afraid he'll never be loved by just one woman -- or some crap like that women say when they want to make men feel like morons, otherwise known as the "Tao of Bitch". Next thing you know, Dex is looking like a lost puppy who just saw a ten foot steak with legs stroll by. Incidentally, this film is directed by Jenniphr Goodman. Note the spelling of her first name. Somebody tell Jen we have vowels for a FUCKING reason.

I don't have the slightest clue what anybody found interesting about Dex. The guy looked like he was about to give birth to one of those ultra-large size detergent buckets. So, the women who slept with him before Syd were all idiots and then, naturally, Syd changes him and doesn't hold anything against him for being this cad his whole life. Message: You can act like an imbecile your whole life and then recant your past behavior and everything is immediately wonderful. Does this sound a whole lot like Catholicism to anybody else?

To spread the word about this The Tao of Steve review on Twitter.

To get instant updates of Mr. Cranky reviews, subscribe to our RSS feed.

Like This The Tao of Steve Review? Vote it Up.


Rate This Movie:

Other Cranky Content You Might Enjoy

  • Much ado has been made of the fact that no crocodiles were hurt in the making of this movie.

  • Writer/director Wes Anderson is teetering on the precipice between humorous and interesting on one side and bizarre and meaningless on the other.

  • I spent a lot of time paying attention to first-time director Adam Shankman's deftly cutting away whenever Jennifer Lopez's huge ass got anywhere near the screen.