Responses to this message:
A group of producers, after seeing the success of all the male versions of the Spice Girls (about 7 groups called Boyzone), decided to make a male (or should I say female) version of "Showgirls" called "Showboys". The timing was right, somehow. The producers were desperate for "new" ideas. However, how do you plasmate this idea? Then the producers, after watching the succes of last year's female masturbation movie, "George of the Jungle", remembered the way they've always done this type of movie... Tarzan!
As for who would play Tarzan, one of them thought that as long as they were ripping off Verhoven, they might as well snag his latest bright butt bud... er, bright new star, Casper Van Dien, formerly known as Dolph Lundgreen.
However, nobody could come up with a script, or something slightly resembling one by legal standards. Until, after several nights deprived of sleep but filled with vodka, one of the crew, a horny fan of Sharon Stone, went out and rented "Alan Quartermain and the Lost City of Gold". Meanwhile, a horny fan of Billy Zane went out and rented "The Phantom". So while everybody was watching both films simultaneously, somebody started using a blender to prepare margaritas. And then it was when it hit them. YES! Let's blend these two movies and stick Tarzan/Showboy into it! We've got it!
Meanwhile, the studio execs had approved the project by long distance while they were on an extended vacation by claiming that they needed to attend yet another award show. The only exec they left behind was the new guy who came with the trade off with Walt Disney studios (a.k.a. Hell on earth), called Moe. Moe just watched it and replied, in a memo, "Duh! Moe LIKE Tar-zan!". However, by the beginning of April, the only studio exec that makes the sound economic decisions returned, a guy named Phil. Phil watched "Tarzan" and almost had a heart attack. The movie had already been made, the money had already been spent, so there was no turning back. Phl decided to at least salvage the reputation of everybody involved and decided to release the film in the only time period where it would go unnoticed. That's right, while "Titanic" was still in the Top 5 money rakers, a.k.a. "before they release 'Godzilla'".
And viola! Here we have it...
Responses to this message:
Post a response to this discussion thread