Tears of the Sun

Bomb Rating: 

This is another one of those films where the primary objective of the film is to convey that it's really a wonderful thing when the white people save the black people from themselves. Since director Antoine Fuqua is himself black, this message seems particularly appalling.

The truth of the matter is that America loves it when black people slaughter other black people. We loved it during the Watts riots. We loved it after the Rodney King trial when blacks ransacked their own neighborhoods and looted the stores of other minority groups. I can guarantee you that had blacks marched into Beverly Hills and burned the homes of wealthy white people, the Air Force would have been dispatched to drop daisy cutter bombs on Compton with the sort of force that would make Saddam Hussein soil his panties.

This film takes place in Nigeria, where black people constantly slaughter other black people as various unpleasant regimes vie for political superiority. Usually this sort of slaughter results from arguments over whose God is the bigger bad-ass. Fortunately for the plot of this film, there's one hot, white woman, Dr. Lena Hendricks (Monica Bellucci), doing important medical work there, so the Navy has a reason to go in and do a rescue. During the course of this rescue, in which the Navy is only truly concerned with Dr. Hendricks' well-being, the leader of the mission, Lt. A.K. Waters (Bruce Willis), discovers that it would be a bad thing if the black refugees got killed, so he stays and helps them, resulting in an end-of-film catharsis where the most understandable of the English-speaking refugees gets to say "We love you, Bruce" while shedding tears of joy over the prospects of a life lived in a refrigerator box in politically free Cameroon.

In between shots of Bruce Willis looking pensive about his moral decision and Monica Bellucci running to provide medical assistance as her ample bosom heaves out of her low-cut blouse in slow-motion, there's a very curious use of a laptop computer, which one of Waters's men breaks out every so often to show Waters where the pursuing Nigerian forces are. At the most critical juncture, the soldier points to the screen and runs through a progression of troop movement as the Nigerian forces close in. Naturally, the soldier doesn't share this data until the troops are so close that they can be heard complaining about the stench of Willis's aftershave. Dare I ask: Could we maybe have used the little tracking computer earlier to point out the impending predicament and plan a method of escape?

Oh wait, that would have ruined the ending of the film where almost everyone gets shot. Certainly we all know by now that logic can't enter into anything that involves the potential for lots of people to get shot, burned or bombed.

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