The Terminal
Mr. Cranky's rating:
"The Terminal" seems like one of those cute character dramas until you start to string together the ridiculously elaborate set of coincidences that come together to give the whole thing that "feel good" quality.
"The Terminal," about a guy named Viktor Navorski (Tom Hanks) getting stuck in an airport for months, is reportedly based on a true story. If one were cynical, one might guess this was one of those urban legends that got planted to surreptitiously create a buzz for this film. But since I'm not cynical, let's move on.
On the surface, "The Terminal" seems like one of those cute character dramas until you start to string together the ridiculously elaborate set of coincidences that come together to give the whole thing that "feel good" quality. It's kind of like the priest who helps you find a path to the Lord while running his hand up your leg: There's definitely a prize at the end, but something doesn't feel quite right.
There's a revolution in Krakozhia at virtually the same time as Viktor is passing through customs, which causes the airport's soon-to-be head security guy, Frank Dixon (Stanley Tucci), to keep Viktor from visiting New York until his passport represents a country recognized by the U.S.
Director Steven Spielberg is far too interested in walking the line between cute and believable. Viktor is basically a human E.T., and we're supposed to laugh as he seems all too happy to be stuck in the airport doing funny stuff, like make cracker sandwiches with ketchup and mustard and make small talk with an INS agent (Zoe Saldana) so that he can pass on information to her love-smitten would-be suitor Enrique Cruz (Diego Luna) in exchange for dinner. In other words: "Do tricks for food."
By the end of the film, Spielberg has delivered a feel-good parade of foreigners. Viktor does so many nice things for so many people, including a stewardess (Catherine Zeta-Jones) in a bad relationship, that it's a miracle he's not nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. In addition to Enrique (the cute Latin boy with a crush), an inordinate amount of time is spent on the janitor, an old Indian guy named Gupta (Kumar Pallana). He provides so many "light comic moments" that you expect him to break out into a stand-up routine.
It was no irony that all this syrupy, fake drama had me channeling E.T. and chanting in a freaky, off-key voice (which scared a few people right out of the theater): "Mr. Cranky go home! Mr. Cranky go home!"
Was it really that bad?
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two bombs? This one deserves... Harpo6
They do discuss movies here, but often seem to get sidetracked by politics. TMundo
What's up with the forums? mouseketeer1961
While we wait for new forums, a bad joke Catskills Theodoric
MonkeyKing, Have you and BatRay ever been to Yosemite? Coaster
How many bombs will Mr. Cranky give Fahrenheit 451? Spanky
Turkey celebrates the visit of George Bush to the NATO Summit Mr_Happy_Face
Gary Oldman as a "Star Wars III" villain Aron
On this day Rajah was born..... Rajah
L.A Police opens up a big can of whoop ass Spanky
Looks like Al-Qaeda & co. are launching their own Tet Offensive Theodoric
The Powell Doctrine: Too bad we ignored it Coaster
Help, I think I accidentally sold my soul Corduroy_Thong
Anyone here use a copier? Cajunman
Arizona Democratic Party tries to strongarm Nader off the ballot (my title) Theodoric
Spider-Man 2's Wait Time in Line Poll The_Innocent_Bystander
Michael Moore = Traitor Spanky
How do you feel about President George W Bush.? X-Man
Bush Bush Bush! X-Man
Little Johnny is depressed... church
How entwined are Bush and coroporates? church
Associated Press sues to find out what Draft-Dodger Bush was up to Mr_Happy_Face
Quiz: Why is the Bush administration seeking immunity? convenor
Please stop making fun of me: Awesome!!! and Star Trek is future bashings John_Doe
America is now more polluted, thanks to Bush Mr_Happy_Face
STAR WARS IS REAL SCI FI AND THE WAVE OF THE FUTURE. ACCEPT NO IMITATIONS Boss_Bubba
Script for The Day After Tommorrow Lucifer_G_61
Going to see Sonic Youth tonight. Throwing_Muses
OMG-WTF-BBQ! Crazy nutball obsessed with Hermoine... ModernRonin
Dodgeball NiceMarmot
SPACE: 1999 IS REAL SCI FI AND THE WAVE OF THE FUTURE. ACCEPT NO IMITATIONS Theodoric
Kerry's still going to win, shitheads. X-g-M
Republicans hate America. Dude_Ranch
STAR WARS IS REAL SCI FI AND THE WAVE OF THE FUTURE. ACCEPT NO IMITATIONS X-g-M
John Kerry's Bold Stance on Cuba Shows He Is Ready for High Office Coaster
The Cuba problem is not a simple one requiring a simple answer Coaster
Hmmm.... Cuba... So maybe that's where Kerry's been hiding lately... fatburger
A better way to get rid of Castro Theodoric
Which area? Xur
As if I'd share the specifics of my dossier with you Theodoric
Unseating Bush is more important than casting meaningless Senate votes Coaster
Coaster Theodoric
I Just Got off the Phone with Ashcroft Coaster
Hell Theo, that's nothing. Xur
Me too, Xur. Theodoric
Of course, Coaster, John "Paper Cut" Kerry could do the honorable thing... fatburger
Shit, I wish *I* could find a rich, depressed woman to marry Theodoric
"Thingies"? You mean huge Xur
Nah. Theodoric
Theodoric - this rich, depressed woman may or not be available... fatburger
Did I mention Xur
I don't know about noxious gas..... daz
"American credibility is so difficult abroad" Throwing_Muses
Oh come.... daz
How about....... Rajah
Kerry would take an intelligent, nuanced approach to Cuba & foreign policy Mr_Happy_Face
Maybe Bush could hide behind his wife's skirt on Cuba, too Mr_Happy_Face
A better way of electing a president Rajah
Republicans have the market cornered on honor???!!! Coaster
Good job Coaster Dan_in_Cincinnati
Why Bush has ignored the Varela Project Coaster
In all fairness to the Repubbies Coaster
Right.... Slothrop
Yeah, well, all of Slothrop's creditbility went out the window Mr_Mucus
Gee, Slothrop, I guess I'm totally screwed Coaster
Kerry won't solve all the problems. church
Actually, you are screwed, Coaster Theodoric
You can't steal his identity, Theo Mr_Mucus
But in those identity theft commercials Mr_Happy_Face
Mr Happy Face=black <nt> X-Man
X-Man=shithead <nt> Hate_Guy
Actually you can't blame anyone for not knowing about the Verla Project Dan_in_Cincinnati
"28 Days Later" sequel in the works?! MR_MUCUS
"Star Trek Generations" spec. ed. dvd with have original ending MR_MUCUS
Oh, fuckity fuckity fuck daz
Don't back down, Jacky boy! convenor
John Kerry proves once again he is a giant weenie Dan_in_Cincinnati
Don't pull that mess in Texas Aron
Hey, X, console sales numbers are in for Xbox... Slothrop
Ya know, X-man, there are ways I can lose weight Coaster
Conqueror's influence (I am the real Conqueror) on the web hovers 5% John_Doe
Ralph Nader picks a running mate Spanky
X-Man stands on a higher moral ground than that slut . . . Coaster
CK Xur
Dan In Cincinnat is a lying liberal piece of dogshit X-Man
Have any mia wallace/hubby/hellbilly three ways gone on? X-Man
Oh, dear Jesus, someone please tell me this is a joke. Wolverine
that stupid hack JENNA from Survivor... Grover
So how many times do Bush approval ratings sink to an all time low? X-Man
We get the google search in every post now X-Man
Hey, enjoy the fresh liberal media poll lie guys X-Man
Fresh new data: Kerry set to still lose X-Man
"King Arthur" is 170 minutes long Aron
I knew youd hate this movie X-Man
At what point did I say I even SAW much less HATED the movie? Aron
I think it's going to suck too...... morganlefey
In fact......... morganlefey
It's about time there was some "ROTK" backlash Aron
Very long movies are not a new thing mangy-ranger
I doubt it, Aron Scorsese_fan
Was looking at the directors cut of Das Boot.... morganlefey
Looking back at Bruckheimer's credits Scorsese_fan
Speaking of "Das Boot," Scorsese_fan
There's a first time for all things.... morganlefey
Maybe Pitt can be Hannibal.... morganlefey
We shall see Scorsese_fan
I saw the director's cut of "Das Boot." Aron
I could dedicate 3 hours to Keira Knightly...... morganlefey
Aron Scorsese_fan
The big reason why "The Alamo" failed Drew_Atreides
Of course, "King Arthur" has a pretty nice relaese date Scorsese_fan
Well, Drew... Scorsese_fan
Bullshit. Spiderman 2 will have 2 solid weekends MR_MUCUS
Bruckheimer is a bad person. Theodoric
Well, at least you admit your ignorance, Mucus Scorsese_fan
Bruckheimer is bad, unless Scorsese_fan
No. He is a bad person. Theodoric
Well, Drew... Aron
Alamo needed the R rating because.. Drew_Atreides
"Spiderman 2" Scorsese_fan
How did Spider-Man get to be bigger than Batman? Aron
Eh, Spidey is the everyman, Aron Drew_Atreides
Well, aron Scorsese_fan
Unfortunately, Spiderman has tons of colorful villians MR_MUCUS
Spider-Man is Marvel's best known superhero... M_H
Bruckheimer Mikoyan29
STAR WARS IS REAL SCI FI AND THE WAVE OF THE FUTURE. ACCEPT NO IMITATIONS X-MUCUS
Bush sliding in the polls, even on terrorism Mr_Happy_Face
Clinton Ships Double Platinum Coaster
Corrupt Republican to resign Mr_Happy_Face
So, which crankylanders have a Gmail account? Xur
Well, Michael Moore won't be sending any XMas cards to Chris Hitchens Theodoric
Given that Mike Moore *is* a self-aggrandizing lying shithead... Lucifer_G_61
Heh. Theodoric
"By all means go and see this ... film, and take your friends, " Coaster
And so it begins! Theodoric
Moore tends to oversimplify things... M_H
Don't be such a killjoy, M_H! Theodoric
Good. Another conservative weeny critic pissed off. Throwing_Muses
And remember, my niggas. Throwing_Muses
I rate Muses' contribution a 8.5/10 Theodoric
Not to fan flames or anything, but... The_Innocent_Bystander
That's right! Rajah
Michael Moore is a large, fat, fattie!!! TwistedTenacity
Summary of The_Innocent_Bystander's post: church
Yeah Critico
Just remember.... daz
Michael Moore is big fat stupid white man Spanky
Chill out, M.C. PeePants. Wolverine
That does lead to an interesting question, Spanky Aron
Moore is a traitor Spanky
Spanky is a traitor... The_Innocent_Bystander
A traitor to what, Spanky? daz
THERE IS NO SANCTUARY! Theodoric
I'm Xur
It seems there is no limit to the depths of human stupidity. Lucifer_G_61
STAR TREK REALLY IS THE WAVE OF THE FUTURE. SET PHASERS TO STUN... Darth-Shithead
IMPEACH DUBYA BUSH AND DICK CHENEY Jerk-in-the-Box
Just saw 'Secondhand Lions' - was the kid gay? Corduroy_Thong
Dog toy or marital aid? Xur
Poor, Poor Air America Radio.... And I Do Mean POOR!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! fatburger
REPUBLICAN SLIMEBALL PRESSURED JERI RYAN (STAR TREK) INTO PUBLIC SEX. John_Doe
Well, *that's* disturbing. Xur
i met hellbilly's roomate mia_wallace
Pentagon to release Rumsfeld memos convenor
Question about "Hitch-Hiker's Guide". Mad-Ness_Monster
Fatburger Can't Tell The Truth About Anything. Jerk-in-the-Box
www.subservientchicken.com Gaaaah! sez Theodoric
Bush still slowly going nuts Mr_Happy_Face
John Kerry to restore bignity to the White House... skilly
9/11 Commission calling Cheney's bluff Mr_Happy_Face
How many of you are going to buy Clinton's book? 0b1knob
AWESOME!!! Star Trek: Conquest OPEN BETA available to download. Mr_Mucus
STAR WARS IS REAL SCI FI AND THE WAVE OF THE FUTURE. ACCEPT NO IMITATIONS Mr_Mucus
Obligitary semi-regular 'I'm back' bullshit. The perpetually absent Lucifer_G_61
Secretary Coaster
Forbes top ten money makers; actresses. morganlefey
Another Bushism Bush_Sucks
The Devil is collecting on its deal with Disney Aron
Bush's Saudi butt buddies aiding Al Qaeda? Mr_Happy_Face
Shit. I grew up watching Start Trek & launching model rockets... daz
POLL: Underrated/underused/underappreciated actors Theodoric
Saw Shrek 2 Rajah
The weekly (because I can) music lyrics quiz. church
King Arthur is going to suck hard Raaaagh! sez Theodoric
Shock! Awe! - Bradbury demands Moore change film title Throwing_Muses
Anyone get the new Wilco album? Ken_Kaminski
Dodgeball beats Terminal for #1 spot... M_H
New Mozilla Firefox .9 is now out. 0b1knob
To you country, welcome! HosniMubarak
STAR TREK IS REAL SCI FI AND THE WAVE OF THE FUTURE. ACCEPT NO IMITATIONS John_Doe
STAR TREK = REAL SCI FI. MORE PROOF!!! John_Doe
"Boiling Points" on MTV check it out! Rajah
Happy Father's Day to paternal Crankizens The_Innocent_Bystander
Contents of Looney Tunes Golden Collection Vol. 2. grundle
MY NAME IS MUD... John_Doe
Would it be wrong for me to pass "Sleepover" just because... Aron
Awesome!!!! Star Trek: ConQuest beta available for download. Awesome!!!! xur
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HELLBILLY! miss_enthropic_bitch
Satan saves. Pay up, Jesus. xur
Finally saw THE CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK...(no spoilers) MR_MUCUS
Snuck in and saw the last 20 mins, the fight scenes were WAY too confusing Darth-Shithead
Yeah, they could've been better MR_MUCUS
Spoiler comments MR_MUCUS
Speaking of spoilers,the final shot of the movie,WAS IN THE FUCKING TRAILER Darth-Shithead
Yeah, I noticed that, too (spoilers) MR_MUCUS
According to IMDB, the film was re-edited to get PG-13 MR_MUCUS
One thing about Thandie Newton.... WEIRDEST NIPPLES EVER !!!! Darth-Shithead
Not so weird. Xur
Yeah, but NEVER that large. Darth-Shithead
You url did not work. MR_MUCUS
Donnie Pfaster was cool Drew_Atreides
Mucus, you're a hard one to figure Aron
Actually, I rated KILL BILL V2 the same, I think MR_MUCUS
I saw this movie. <spoilers> HomeSkillet
HOSNI MUBARAK John_Doe
Air America Radio Can't Tell The Truth About Anything fatburger
Need help finding something Terminal_Boredom
Spanky needs your help Spanky
QUESTION...Why do fat girls wear thongs??? Masked_Loser
Boo! Kerry's acting like a Republican for government meddling in religion. grundle
Totally radical you surf dudes and dudettes! Dan_in_Cincinnati
So, what does everyone make of Putin's statements about Iraqi terrorism? Theodoric
W explains himself Xur
Rajah loves Dido Rajah
9/11 Report Cited No Iraqi 'Control' of Qaeda - Rice Xur
Awesome!!!! Star Trek: ConQuest beta available for download. Awesome!!!! John_ Doe
The Futurological Congress by Stanislaw Lem Ken_Kaminski
CONQUEROR EXCLUSIVE: FRIEND OF DREDGE. PICS OF BEHEADED AMERICAN. John_Doe
See for yourself, X-Man. Lindsey Lohan breast implant scars Jerk-in-the-Box
Anybody else listen to Mancow? GreatCthulhu
New Ann Coulter book looks really cool! Spanky
A short play Ken_Kaminski
Did Roger Ebert break this thumb or something??? Masked_Loser
Theo Critico
ok, I suck at the humorous caption bit. HELP! daz
Frenching gone wrong. daz
Enraged Matrix fan wants refund for Matrix:Revolting. daz
Satan saves. Pay up, Jesus. xur
Air travel is so unpleasnat these days Spanky
Straight from errolmorris.com Nick-The-Knife
Britney Spears to marry again, this time after two-month relationship Uber
Conqueror™ reviews Bacardi Silver™. What are you drinking tonight? Conqueror
Hey,what happened to all those speeches? convenor
Summer Travel Poll Mad-Ness_Monster
Terminal,80 Days, Dodgeball,2 Brothers,White Chicks,Young Adam,Wilbur Wants Aron
The Good, the Bad & the Ugly of Catherine Zeta-Jones Aron
Awesome!!!! Star Trek: ConQuest beta available for download. Awesome!!!! Wrath_Of_Dog
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly of Steven Spielberg Theodoric
Dustbowl, revisited. daz
SO WHATEVER HAPPENED TO GARY CONDIT AND... DarthGaul
Lindsey Lohan apologizes for using the word "retarded" Theodoric
Shell Oil Chairman says "I'm worried about the planet" - (admitting guilt) John_Doe
Magnum season 1 DVD contains later eps with Morgan Fairchild & Sharon Stone grundle
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly of Tom Hanks Theodoric
I know he produced "Band of Brothers" but was he actually in it? Drew_Atreides
Annoying Tom Hanks movies Wrath_Of_Dog
I didn't think he was, until I checked the IMDB Theodoric
I can't remember half of the Hanks' movies I've seen very well Aron
Agh! How I could have forgotten Forrest Gump? Theodoric
Re: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly of Tom Hanks The_Third_Nipple
Bachelor Party is one of the funniest movies ever made Critico
Re: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly of Tom Hanks The_Third_Nipple
It warms my heart to see others recognize the genius of Bachelor Party! Theodoric
Re: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly of Tom Hanks M_H
Re: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly of Tom Hanks The_Third_Nipple
Joe vs. the Volcano JPBuckner
Re: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly of Tom Hanks Mikoyan29
I'll try. HomeSkillet
Damn, forgot The Ladykillers! HomeSkillet
Turner and Hooch Rajah
"Is that a foot long?" Theodoric
tom hanks is a mediocre actor who can't seem to break that 'everyman' type mia_wallace
Legion of Doom spotted off Coast of BC Xur
MY HAIR, THE ANNOUNCEMENT. John_Doe
Thankfully, they've changed the song on the commercials Scorsese_fan
The Terminalnator MR_MUCUS
Why oh WHY does De Palma get no love? Drew_Atreides
"Around the World in 80 Days" Scorsese_fan
This is based on a true story, you know. Xur
Worst reviewed Spielberg film in a while? Scorsese_fan
Talking about King Arthur... Xur
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