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Were it not that I enjoy Matt Dillon (that can't be his real name), and were it not for the scene in which he tries to revive the drugged dog, this film wouldn't have had any appeal at all for me. Oh, yeah, what's-her-name is cute as a button, but so what? It's clear to me that we're all going the way of C.M. Kornbluth's hilariously terrifying story "The Marching Morons." How anyone in their right mind could think up that masturbation scene is beyond me. Cum doesn't even look like that! Why is is that Hollywood thinks we have to be hit with metaphorical bladders a la Pigmeat Markham? And why doesn't Mr Cranky review something GOOD, like THE ICE STORM? Even the guys at B. Fatt and Lazy liked that one. (You think Mr Crankcase is tough on films, you oughta read THOSE guys!) I would never have seen this stupid film if my 14-year-old son hadn't wanted to see it. And that would have been okay with me, even if I hadn't gotten to see that bit with the dog.
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