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Seriously about the brother thing, that is. :)
Actually, Masked, this woman is wrong. I was a competitive record-setting powerlifter for 10 years and still have quite a few muscles left over from those days. I'm the research director of a TV station, which makes decent money (as I mentioned earlier, it's not like I'm a mortgage broker or anything). In high school cars do mean something-- in the real world women don't care if you actually drive a Lexus-- only that you make enough money to be able to AFFORD a Lexus. (Think about it-- how are you supposed to impress a woman with your car as an adult? Cruise the grocery store parking lot?) In any case, I'm probably missing # 3, although my Grand Am is pretty damn fast, but I could afford a Mustang or Corvette if I wanted one-- I just consider sports cars to be rather impractical. The problem with # 4 is that until you actually get a woman into your bed, this is MEANINGLESS, because it's a rare case that she'll be able to tell the size of your penis through your clothes, no matter how big it is. And # 5-- I've got a pretty good sense of humor outside of Crankyland. But I'll admit, that actually may be a negative. Most of my jokes involve me making fun of myself, and apparently although most women find those jokes to be funny, it turns them off from wanting to date a guy who those things are true of. And all I'm doing is pointing them out for them, if they didn't already notice them.
Anyway, my point is, I qualify partially for # 1 (I'm actually unattractive BESIDES the muscles) and # 2, # 3 and # 4 aren't all that important and # 5 IS important but only if done in the right way, so that's at least 1 1/2 out of 3 valid points I achieve...
...and yet I'm STILL a LOSER.
But there are all kinds of reasons why that's true that I don't have any time to get into (AGAIN).
I know you can't afford it, but I would suggest you hit the weight room and look into contact lenses (which I wear). It can't hurt. Anyway, that's my brotherly advice for you today. Well, that and if you miss dinner again, Mom's going to give yours to the dog.
sincerely,
CreepFreakLOSER
PS I do appreciate the constructive criticism by all those involved in this thread so far, especially monique. This is a much better way to deal with my brother than Emerald-style or Bickle-style. You people have some class.
PSS Oh, I do have a blood brother (I've mentioned him before)-- he's far from a LOSER though (or a FREAK either for that matter)-- 5'10, former all-state running back, he's never really had a problem finding dates. He does, however, continue to have a problem finding decent jobs... which just goes to prove to you that even lots of money is not ALL that important to women, because we basically look alike except for the height and I make FAR more money than he does, yet women choose him over me without a thought. Mmmmm...
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