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This movie is a soft porn attempt with all the best bits taken out. Those would be the fisting and rimming of the director with the script rolled up. Norse power, yeah! I predict every actor in this film will have a healthy, uh, career. Me and the kids next to me placed bets on which warriors were keeping their little swords stiff and warm round the fire. And it's nice to see Europeans wearing fur again. A bunch of grungy warriors wearing pelts, dead teeth, and bad accents take banderas along on a Disneyland ride to glory, with the lure of deathless admiration from the unwashed hundreds who populate the various tenements they travel to. The Arab's traditional punishment for Banderas-style exploits leave us wishing the Screenwriter's hand had been cut off. But I will say Banderas' accent is just a cheap attempt to sell the film without overdubbing to its inevitable destination, The Rosarito Beach Film Festival, where the actors will find work as pelt-covered ushers.
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