02/16/00: The Thirteenth Warrior

Posted By: curmudgeon


I don't see what all the shouting's about. Of all of Michael Crichton's books to be dramatized as a film, th This is probably the least "Hollywoodized". If you hated the film, you probably would have hated the book (if you can read). The atmosphere, characterizations, location, etc. were great, I think. The "Glowworm Dragon" scene is one of the best film sequences I think I've seen in several years. Overall, a very enjoyable film, and riveting if you know anything about the Beowulf saga (oops..., forgot, you need to know how to read AND how to discriminate between Modern and Old English to do that). Anyhow, I liked it. My only quibbles are:

1. The Vikings make fun of Banderas' Arab as being too small for a horse. Vikings were not great "horse people" although they give them quite a bit of respect in their mythology and religious practices. In fact, a blood Arab from 10th Century Bagdhad would likely have been larger and much faster, stronger, etc. than any Viking pony. Also, the Vikings wouldn't have had a prayer of transporting these horses any distance aboard their longships with any kind of survival rate.

2. The Vikings' armor. The wardrobe person must have closed his eyes and thrown radom items on these guys. Beowulf's helmet is perfect Viking, but his plate armor is better suited to the 14th Century. One of his companions wears a Roman gladiator's helmet! (Okay, maybe it was handed down from an ancestor in the Praetorian Guard, but give me a break!)

That's it for now. Before you slam this movie anymore, at least read Crichton's "Eaters of the Dead" (oh, yeah, learn to read, first!)


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