To Die For

Bomb Rating: 

The title "To Die For" is basically a euphemism for "what criminal things would you do in exchange for having Nicole Kidman lick you anyplace you desired?" If you're Jimmy Emmett (Joaquin Phoenix) and you're a mentally-challenged, small-town, low-class loser, you'll probably maim baby seals because, while you can't add two plus two, you certainly realize that the odds of you getting laid are about as remote as winning a Nobel Peace Prize. Jimmy's the type of kid who should be considering incarceration as a good career move.

So why does director Gus Van Sant wants us to think it's surprising that Suzanne Stone (Kidman) can get Jimmy and three of his loser friends to kill her husband (Matt Dillon)? Reality aside, it's certainly everybody's impression from the movies that, when it comes to small towns, inbred is more than just a cool thing to make sandwiches with. Murder is hardly an unbelievable deviation.

One thing to look for late in the movie is a cameo by director David Cronenberg. Usually when one director has another director do a cameo in his movie it's a way of saying, "Help me. I have no idea what I'm doing."

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