To Gillian on Her 37th Birthday

Bomb Rating: 

David Lewis' (Peter Gallagher) problem is this: His wife, Gillian(Michelle Pfeiffer) died a few years ago in a boating accident and now David makes a habit of walking on the beach and talking to her. This worries his daughter, Rachel (Claire Danes), his sister-in-law, Esther (Kathy Baker) and his brother-in-law, Paul (Bruce Altman). They all think he's cuckoo.

Well, David is cuckoo. He's completely nuts. Wacko. Director Michael Pressman portrays David's little conversations with his dead wife as completely real. Morons are supposed to believe that Gillian is some kind of ghost while the rest of us are thinking that David ought to pursue a career examining ink spots in a padded room. Such is the price of positioning your film as a "Ghost-like" romance.

I wouldn't think David a complete idiot if it weren't for the fact that he's going to the beach to have conversations with Michelle Pfeiffer. To tell you the truth, Michelle Pfeiffer has been appearing in my visions a lot lately and we never seem to get to the conversation stage.

Of course, the film going on in my mind is rated X and Gillian is rated PG-13, so maybe that held the filmmakers back somewhat. Well, if they ever think about taking a trip into reality, they're welcome to borrow my screenplay. It's real short.

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